Laminated Emotions

Troisième

There must be something in the water

Cause everyday its getting colder

And if only I could hold you

You'd keep my head from going under

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Every day went faster than the previous one.

You said it was because we were happy and we had never been happier, and I didn't say a word. Not a word.  I guess I was scared of telling you that getting drunk and screaming from rooftops wasn't happiness. But I couldn't say it because on some nights it did feel like happiness.

The first time I sprained my ankle, I was seven. I was going too fast on a cycle that could only fit two ( I was the third )and I remember falling and feeling a burn, sometimes I still feel that burn when I walk too fast, when I run into your arms knowing it was never real, and it would never be real. Whenever I knew it wasn't going to last. 

It's funny because I'm constantly looking for an eternity.

 An eternity that might last for more than two days, but so rarely does. Maybe eternities are short lived now. Maybe 'forever' is just code for 'till I can tolerate you' and love is just lust, magic is just hallucinations and all we're doing is cutting it short. Condensing our words, condensing our emotions, condensing our relationships until all that's left is just a flicker of the shadow of what  we used to be. 

But there was beauty in that too, there was, is and always will be a beauty in being broken, and under all those shards of glass you will find scars that tell hauntingly beautiful stories, and maybe that's all we need now. 

We need stories. 

We need memories put down by others (by other versions of ourselves) where we were happy and it was genuine. Memories that take us back to a place where the sky we knew was bright and had never been tainted by grey. Memories that took us back to a time much before we found out what people really wanted and what the world was like, back to a time where the only monsters we had to worry about were under our beds.

For today, and all the other today's that were in the past and will be in the future we will still believe in eternities that have never been fulfilled, simply because we can. 

' And I kept running 

For a soft place to fall '

                            -Aurora 

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" Hope is a beautiful thing,

So very precious and tantalising. "