For November 2019.
Chloe talks about being too much for a person, offering them an ocean when the only thing they will ever hold out to you is a cup.
It's funny how we just hurt people and it's such a conscious effort. There's no attempt at cushioning the blow. You just keep holding my heart in your hand and suffocating it- again and again, and again. The way you just hurt my healing process, the way you make me feel less than... everyone. And I promised myself I wouldn't put any of this down in writing because if I don't say it, it isn't real. If I don't write it, it didn't happen. Only, it did. It did happen and it was very real and there's no way you will ever make it right.
And this has taught me something. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything because it's taught me how not to treat someone. Making people feel like they don't deserve something is the worst thing you can ever do. Breaking their spirit is worse than murder, and I stand by that phrase today and every day.
I've realised it now though, you showed me what I didn't deserve and you've taught me how I shouldn't be treated, and for that, I will forever be thankful. I don't think it's about finding someone else who completes you, I think it's about finding yourself. I think it's about knowing what you are and who are you are and leaving something behind in the individuals you've loved.
2019 was easily both the best and the worst year so far, and for that I'm thankful. I'm thankful for all I learned and experienced and every decision I've made has got me to where I am today, and I can't regret that position.
I want to end by saying, make your mistakes- lots of them and cry and laugh and live. Live, because this thing called life, it can't be taken for granted. Always be thankful, always be grateful. Maybe there is no point to be reached in life, maybe it's just about enjoying the journey the best you can, and having that be enough because it is.
Thank you.
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Hi everyone, this was written for November last year and I just didn't have the guts in me to have it out here, but time heals and people heal so here is a little piece of my soul, another letter I will never send. I hope you're all staying safe and spreading all the love you can spare in these challenging and confusing times. Stay safe x
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Laminated Emotions
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