Synesthetes // Lil Xan

14

Rose's POV

"I'll miss you" I mumbled into Diego's shoulder.

"I'll miss you too, babygirl, I'll come back in a few weeks." He said, putting his hand under my chin to make me look at him.

He pressed his lips against mine and we shared a short kiss, he pulled away and wrapped his arms around my waist.

We had gotten up a few hours before, did our daily routines then had breakfast together, it was kinda sad because we both knew he'd be gone for a while, even though it was only a month, time went really slow for me and I didn't know how to handle being long distance. I didn't want to seem too distant or get too clingy.

"I'll call you every day, I promise." He said, briefly kissing me again and running his hand through my hair.

I smiled and closed my eyes, "It's okay if you don't, I know you'll be busy."

He rubbed my back, "I have to go babygirl." He pulled away and pressed his lips to my forehead.

I smiled sadly at him, before kissing his cheek. "Come back soon."

"I will, babygirl, I'll text you before I get on the plane." He said.

He kissed me softly, and I kissed back. I felt the familiar yellow lavender butterflies in my stomach every time he showed me affection, I've missed that feeling. Other boyfriends would leave spiders in me, but Diego replaced them with butterflies.

He pulled away and smiled at me, his arms around me got a little tighter as he pulled me closer to him, holding me close. 

"I'll be back before you know it, babygirl." He mumbled.

"I hope you have so much fun, please be safe." I said, kissing his cheek. 

He let go and smiled at me, "I will, I promise."

He picked up his bags and walked outside, setting them in his car. I stood at the doorway, our eyes met and we smiled at each other before he got into his car and drove off.

I took in a deep breath and closed the door, exhaling and closing my eyes. What am I getting into? This is going so fast, why would a big rapper want to pursue a mostly long distance relationship with me? I made it apparent that I wasn't comfortable doing anything more than kissing, so I doubted he was using me for something sexual.

Shaking my head, I went up to my bedroom and laid down, being with someone 24/7 for a few days was mentally exhausting. I never really had the energy to spend super long periods of time with the same person, carrying on a conversation was hard since my life didn't have much excitement to it. Sure, I had cool memories and I've done a ton of drugs and I have a disorder that some people think is 'cool' even though it's really not, but none of these things were often conversation starters. 

I thought more about Diego and how I felt so comfortable with him, it was a weird feeling being cared for and understood after past relationships where I've never received this kind of attention. All too often it was getting yelled at for doing wrong this, being told that my disorder was bullshit and that I wasn't worth anything, along with the occasion hits I'd take from them. 

Shaking my head, I didn't want to think about those things anymore, I wanted to think about Diego and how sweet and kind he was to me. 

I thought about how things would work, being so far apart from each other. I hoped he wouldn't go to someone else if he got lonely, I didn't think he would, but there was always some kind of fear like that. No matter who it was, there was always some little feeling of jealousy in my heart that I've always tried to ignore.

And with that, I fell into a deep sleep. 

~

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing, I ground loudly and squinted my eyes open before reaching towards my phone. I answered it and let out a groggy "hello?"

"Hey babygirl!" I heard Diego's voice beam. "I'm in North Carolina right now!" 

"That's great, now let me go back to sleep." I mumbled out. 

"Oh shit I forgot, I'm sorry babygirl it's 9:30 here, so it's 6:30 for you"

"Goodnight Diego"

"Goodnight babygirl!"

I hung up the phone and groaned once again, I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep so I got up and showered, then chose to put on regular mom jeans and a light pink shirt. Being so tired I didn't trust myself to start sewing, so I went downstairs and pulled frozen waffles out of the freezer and popped them into the toaster. 

Once they were done I put syrup on them and went to the couch, watching old cartoons as I ate. Once I was finished I laid down on the couch and fell back to sleep, thinking about Diego and I.

Sorry for not updating, I have exams next week and I've been drowning in study guides. For whatever reason my science teacher thinks I can do a 300 short answer question packet in 5 days. pray 4 me. 

I have the next few chapters already written though, they'll be coming out within the next week or so. <3