I Wont Lose My Fallen Angel ( BVB Fan Fic )

Chapter 4

ANDY’S POV

            I sat on yet another hotel bed awaiting the inevitable. With my constant foot tapping of the floor being the only thing keeping me from screaming, I drowned out the world around me, lost in the consistent beat. With every tap another second went by. I was just one second closer to seeing Heather. Something I was both excited and horrified about. I’d lost track of time, but I was sure I was only a couple hours or less away from going to see my cousin in the hospital. I began to chew on my thumbnail, silently cursing the hotel’s ‘No Smoking’ policy. If I had to go another day there I’d go insane. Once I’d successfully chewed all of my nails down to the nub, I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. I threw myself off the bed, and forced my eyes onto the clock. 10:30 a.m. Only 10:30!? How long have I been up!? Oh yeah… I didn’t sleep… Maybe that was an exaggeration. I’d fallen asleep at 3 a.m. after hours of staring at the ceiling praying for a cigarette, woke up in a pool of sweat at 5:15 a.m., and couldn’t fall back asleep since.

            At about 7 a.m. I decided to get dressed, and that took up about two hours. Normally I didn’t give a shit how I looked, and was dressed in less than a half hour. Even when we do shows it takes me under an hour and a half to get totally ready. But I knew that I had to look perfect for Heather. I knew she wouldn’t care how I looked, but I just felt the need to be picture perfect. After all, I was the only person she’d asked to see. The least I could do was look decent. But yeah… I think I went overboard…

            After spending forever in the shower planning the day, and making sure I didn’t smell like an elephant’s butt like I usually do, I worked extra hard on my hair, to make it look just right. God I sound like a girl. Then I found my one clean pair of pants and put them on. They were black, with the words ‘I Am Human Let Me Live’ on them. They’d always been my favorite, well, those and the ones with the arrow to my crotch, but somehow I didn’t think that would be respectable to wear to a hospital. I put on at least three of my favorite belts and I put a red bandana in my back belt loop. I decided that I should probably wear a shirt and not just a vest, so I put on a plain black shirt and a black leather jacket covered in buttons. To be honest the jacket was mostly to cover my arm that still had healing cut marks on it. I was still mortified by the fact that I’d done something so stupid to myself, and I knew that Heather would hate that I did that because of her news. I slipped a black rosary with a cross on it around my neck, not because I’m religious or anything, but I always loved how they looked.

            Lastly, I did my makeup. Again it wouldn’t really be respectable to go to a hospital with war paint on, no mater how much I wanted to, so I just drew a line of eyeliner around my eyes. Then I did something that I hadn’t done in a while. I painted my right ring finger red. Looking down at my single finger gave a surge of strength that I’d needed. Granted it didn’t last long. By 9:05 a.m., I was once again losing my mind, and by 10:15 I’d successfully chipped of the nail polish, and chewed my nail to a stub. Pathetic… I know… I was a wreck and I hadn’t even seen Heather yet.

            When I saw the clock I realized I still had about two-ish hours until we were leaving to see Heather, and there was no way in hell that I could wait that long for a smoke, so I left the room. I guess it was probably a good idea to get some fresh-ish air anyways. I grabbed a pack of cigarettes and slipped on my black patterned cowboy boots and headed for the door. “Where are you going?” I heard a voice ask from behind me. I turned on my heels and found Jake sitting on the edge of the couch. How didn’t I notice him? I wasn’t THAT deep in thought was I? He got up with a concerned look in his eyes.