Chapter Twenty Eight

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I was restless at this point. After briefly talking to Corey about what had just happened, we had spent five minutes of the conversation arguing about why I didn't want him to come over right now. I simply didn't want to be bothered. I couldn't understand what was going on with Shawn, but something wasn't right with him. At this point, we all needed help, and I was determined to get things back on track before I went back on tour. The last thing I wanted to do was be miserable while touring.

I woke up from my brief nap at seven o'clock in the morning. I was still wearing yesterday's clothes and I looked like I just lost my husband. The knocking at my door wouldn't cease.

"Bey, please open the door," I could hear Corey's voice on the other side.

"I just wanna come in and talk to you," he said.

"I know you're in there and awake, Bey. If you don't want to come out, then give me the kids. I'll take them off yours hands for the day."

That was something that I really needed right now. I needed to be alone and when the kids woke up, I wouldn't have that time. Every parent needed time alone every once in a while. I decided to not be stubborn for once in my life and got off of the couch.

Opening the door, Corey stood there I'm his normal professional attire. He certainly wasn't cut out to handle two little boys. We never spoke a word. I simply went to wake the boys up and made them each a bag. Nothing big, since I figured that they were coming back. But, I did put in an extra pair of clothes, an electronic device each, and then snacks.

His day should be peaceful for a while, since I was sure that they were going right in his truck and going to sleep.

"I'll bring them back tomorrow," Corey told me as he walked out. I simply nodded my head and went to my bedroom to take a shower. I wanted to get everything off of me. I wanted to wash the night off of me. But, it was a mixture of hot water and tears.

After about twenty minutes of standing and washing myself in stingy hot water, I changed into tank top and underwear. I needed to get some rest before I did anything else.

Between my phone and the door, I didn't know which one was getting on my everlasting nerves. I didn't have anything planned for today. Granted, I should be planning Ashley's funeral, but I simply wasn't up for it today. That meant that I would have to double the work tomorrow. Looking at my phone, I saw all the missed calls and texts from several people. It was as if I had just went missing.

I walked downstairs and went to the door. Seeing Rihanna at my door was probably the most shocking thing ever.

I rushed upstairs to put some sweat pants on and went back downstairs. I don't know why, but I felt like talking to her might be a good thing. Opening the door, she smiled.

"Hi. Can we talk?" She asked me.

Slowly, I nodded my head while allowing her to come inside. She was wearing a nice little ensemble. Her hair was currently red and she was wearing a simple short sleeved shirt with jeans. It was comfortable for her situation. She wasn't showing yet, and I was actually curious to know how far along she was.

"How are you?" She asked me.

I eyed her briefly. "What happened?" I simply asked.

"He came to the house...panicked. He kept saying how he messed up. You'll hate him. He packed this little small bag and just left," she said with a shrug to her shoulders.

"Did he say where he was going?" I asked her.

She shook her head. "No. He just took his truck and left."

It was hard for me to grasp on where Shawn would have actually gone, but I had an idea. I couldn't just pack up and go there right now, though.

"How are you," she asked me once more.

"I'm fine," I lied.

Rihanna sat there with a smirk. "Bey, you may not like me, but I don't like to be lied to. The way that man came in that house, you can't be fine."

She had a point. "I'll be fine," I restated.

Slowly, Eihanna nodded her head. "Julian's birthday is coming up soon..."

It was always a nerve when she brought up my son. Granted, I wanted to keep the peace, but I had to know why he was so....obsessed with her. "What do you and him talk about?"

"Jay and I?" She asked.

"No," I responded. "You and Julian."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever he wants to talk about."

"Like?"

I could see an uneasy look on her face. "Honestly, Bey. I believe strongly in loyalty and pinky promises. You'll have to talk to Julian."

Is it bad that I couldn't even protest with that? It was the same confidentiality that I had as a social worker. When someone gives you that trust, you don't just throw it away.

"Can I ask a serious question, though?" Rihanna asked me.

I looked at her for a moment before answering, "Sure."

"Are you upset that I'm having this baby?"

I was going to be very honest right now. "Yes."

"In a perfect world, you would just...wish this baby away?"

I thought the question was a bit silly the way that she asked it. A smile formed on my lips thinking about perfect worlds. "In a perfect world, Shawn's only child or children will be with me."

Rihanna nodded her head slowly. "Thanks for the honesty."

"How do you feel about being pregnant?" I asked her.

"I got pregnant with my fiancé," she reminded me. "I was supposed to be happy. I was going to fit my pregnant ass in a custom made wedding dress and marry the man that I had fallen in love with. But, as we can see, things don't always go as planned."

The way she said the last sentence hit home with me. Shawn and I thought this whole fate was supposed to lead us. We thought that everything would be fine. As long as we were happy, nothing was supposed to go wrong. Boy were we wrong.

Rihanna snapped me out of my thoughts as she stood up. "Well, thanks for entertaining my conversation, Beyoncé. I have some business to attend to, and I'm sure you do as well," she said with a smile.

I nodded my head, knowing damn well I didn't have anything to do. "No problem. If I hear anything from Shawn, I'll let you know," I told her.

"I'll do the same," Rihanna said as she walked out the door. I closed it behind her and sighed heavily.

The conversation was actually insightful. I decided I'd spend the day cleaning up. I needed to quickly figure out what I wanted to do about redecorating. I went in Julian's room to see a mess. He had too many toys and devices occupying this room.

Groaning, I simply started cleaning up. I hated a dirty house, I couldn't take it. Milena didn't care about anything, since this wasn't her house, but I couldn't do junk. As I was making his bed, I saw a notebook.

Casually, I opened it and read a few lines before realizing that this was my son's journal. Immediately, I dropped it. I didn't want to become that mother that was all up in his business. I knew what that was like, and I didn't want my child to hate me for reading his journal, so I put it back where I found it and left his room.

Daniel's room, on the other hand, was more neat. It took little to no effort to straighten up baby boy's room. The one room that I haven't been inside of in a long time was Milena's old room. I don't know why, but every time I thought about it, I got angry with her. I got angry with myself for not even realizing it. I shook it off and decided to, instead, start reading some of Ashley's notes.

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