The Last Great Seduction

Chapter Twenty

Shawn's POV

Everything was happening a bit too quickly for my liking. I was supposed to come home from a bunch of work to simply be with Beyoncé, yet still do a little work. I had to pull out of a big business meeting that Corey and I were supposed to have simply because I didn't want to leave Bey alone. I had gone through this, so I knew what to expect. I couldn't allow my emotions deter her from showing hers. When she told me that I had lost something as well, it was hard for me to even utter a word to her. I felt bad at the fact that I wasn't necessarily happy when she first told me that she was pregnant. Honestly, how was I supposed to feel at a time like that? I was aware that we were intimate, but she had just ventured out of a relationship, so there was a possibility that the child could have been Julius's. Seeing Bey's happiness and confidence was what made me not really care anymore. She was happy and seemed confident that the child was going to be mine.

I peeked into Julian's room to find him knocked out. I sighed a bit. Neither of us knew what was going on with him and it hurt a little bit. His words stung, but I couldn't let that show. To be reminded that I'm technically not someone's father was hurtful, and to have it come from someone that I considered my child was even more hurtful. The ride from his grandmother's house was what started it all with us. I was driving and he asked if they could go to my house. I asked him why, and he told me that he wanted to see Rihanna. I explained to him that his mother was going through something right now and that she needed to be around people. I also told him that I really didn't want to leave his mother in the first place.

Man, you would have thought that Julian had a mental issue the way he started screaming in that truck. I did my hardest to contain my temper, but it ended with us yelling at one another. Never did I think I'd actually argue with a child and be serious about it.

Sighing, I figured that I'd sleep on the couch tonight. Since Daniel was sleeping with Bey, I didn't feel quite comfortable sleeping with them. I was never a fan of sleeping with other people's children. Hell, I never slept in the same bed as Julian, unless he found his way into the bed while I was sleeping. I put the food up and grabbed the blankets out the closet and went to sleep.

I woke up a few hours later to the sound of someone making noises. My first thought was that it was Julian going to get something to eat. Bey told him to not come out of his room, so I figured he got hungry eventually.

The noise didn't stop and it surely didn't sound like someone who was just in the kitchen making themselves a plate of food. I sighed and got out of the bed and started to follow the sound of the noise.

I should've known.

"Bey..." I spoke softly, trying to not startle her.

"I'm sorry," she replied.

"You didn't do anything, Bey."

"I woke you up," she replied before finally looking up to me. Her eyes were red and puffy, and I knew instantly that she'd been crying.

I sat down next to her on the floor. It was a spacious room in the house. For some reason, she never liked anyone coming in here. She'd gone so far as to getting a lock on the door and she only had a key to it. I had never been in here until today. The room was painted like the other rooms, just a few boxes neatly stacked.

"How long you been in here?" I asked her.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Not that long. I didn't want to wake Danny. He was sleeping so peaceful."

I nodded my head. Daniel was one of those peaceful sleepers. I always took it as since he was usually hyper around the house, he slept calmly.

"Shawn, are you okay?" Bey asked me.

I was shocked. "What?"

"Are you okay? Not even from me losing the baby, but from what Julian said. Are you okay?"

"You heard him?" I asked her. I didn't even know that she had heard that much of the conversation.

"Yeah...are you going to answer me?"

I laughed softly. "It hurt, but I'll be fine. He's a kid." That was how I continued to sum it up. He was kid and kid say the darnest things.

Bey continuously shook her head. "Something's wrong," she told me.

"What do you mean?"

She did a laugh. It was one of those laughs that you did when you wanted to hide the pain.

"I was a social worker. I worked with children. It wasn't that I never thought my child would be a child with a problem, but I made sure that he wasn't exposed to certain things or people. I didn't want him to have to sit and not be able to talk to a parent, so instead he has to talk to a stranger."

I was baffled a bit. I knew that Bey worked with Corey at his office, but I didn't know that was that well spoken about her work. "Why don't you just talk to him?"

Once again, she shook her head. "He has to talk to someone he doesn't know. Someone that won't judge him."

It was like she was more understanding in this aspect. But earlier? I honestly think had I not been here, she would've bodied Julian. One thing that I had come to know about Bey was that she hated disrespect from anyone.

"Can I ask what this room is?"

Bey wiped her face and stood up. She walked over to one of the stacks of boxes and opened it. I slowly followed behind her.

"I'm used to losing things. This is a room I go in to...remember, I guess. I don't come in here often, but it's a safe place for me. I feel more loved in this room," she said with a small smile.

"My father was the first person that I lost. I know my father loved me. I don't care what anyone says. I don't know who was harder to lose – my father or Chanel."

I was lost. I knew Chanel was her the baby that her best friend and Jermaine had. I didn't see why it would have a huge impact on her life. "Why is that hard?"

She closed the box and looked at her. "The Chanel you knew isn't the one I'm talking about. I was pregnant before. Jermaine and I talked about naming her Chanel, so it was set in stone. I had a miscarriage due to stress, and it hurt. When I had Julian, I felt like everything was coming together. I thought I wouldn't have a miscarriage again. Like I wouldn't have anything else to worry about. But, I guess I do..."

I had never really seen this side of Bey. She was more calm and collected than usual. It was weird a bit, but I liked the calm Bey.

"I always said that when I have my next child, this would be their room. It would make me happier."

Even though she was hurting about this one child, I could see her confidence on her having another baby.

"I need to go to sleep," she said softly after she yawned.

"Alright. Goodnight." I said as I walked closer to her.

We hugged and kissed. "Love you," we said in unison before she let out her adorable laugh.