When I tell you that I've been through so much pain this year, I'm not exaggerating.
Honestly, I knew I hit rock bottom when I was contemplating suicide again, but I kept holding on because I know I have a purpose in life. I'm battered and bruised because of my self hatred. I'm overweight, out of breath, and tired as hell. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I hope I can be the man I know I can be. I've cried, I've screamed, and even laughed at times; only because I can't afford to dwell. I'll be gone for a while after the new year arrives. I need to become the real LaDarius Brown, not this self hating monster I am now. I don't know when I will come back, but I promise to be a different person if I ever return. Goodbye.
