Back To You (A NASHLENE fanfic)

The door is open

Nang makarating kami sa bahay, nakasalampak agad ako sa sofa. I was too hurt to move around. I felt as though I was drowning. Ganito pala talaga ang epekto ng pag-ibig. Napapasaya ka nga pero mas sinasaktan ka. Forgive me, this is really how I feel.

"Beshie, nood tayo ng movie. And then order nalang tayo ng food. What do you say?"

Miles was obviously trying to comfort me.

"Ikaw bahala. I just really want to be here in the house all day." Mahina kong saad.

"Right'o" she assured.

Moments later, I woke up to see Jairus shaking my shoulders. Naidlip pala ako ng saglit habang naghihintay sa order namin. But why is this guy here?

"Oh my baby is awake!"
Sabi niya sa isang nakakalokong ngiti.

"Baby your face! What are you doing here?"
Bumangon na ako at nag ayos ng buhok. Sa sofa lang pala ako nakatulog.

"I saw the whole thing. I'm just grabbing the opportunity." He said frankly.

He's so honest. Walang preno siya kung magsabi ng nararamdaman sa akin. Actually, he's been courting me for 2 years. He asked the magic question once two years ago and he said he's waiting for the time to ask it again and that I'd answer yes.

"Jai, please don't this right now." Sabi ko.

"No I will do this. Sabi ko naman sa'yo, hindi ako titigil hanggat single ka pa." He said smiling.

There is no denying how gorgeous this guy is. He's so sweet and kind that it hurts me every time I see him doing all it takes just to make me happy. Alam naman niya ang lahat. Alam niyang in love ako sa gago niyang kaibigan. At alam niyang kaibigan lang ang tingin ko sa kanya. Pero the hell with this guy, he just wouldn't stop. And I am not in the right place to question that kasi alam na alam ko ang pinagdadaanan niya. It's just so sad that it had to be this way.

"Beshie, pinapunta mo ba to dito?" I called out for Miles.

"Uy hindi ah. Siya lang yang nagpunta dito ng kusa." Sigaw naman ni Miles mula sa kitchen.

I smell food. This is perfect. Magpapakababoy nalang muna ako. Hopefully, it will get my mind off of things that make me sad. Food really is life.

We decided na sa room ko nalang kami mag mo-movie marathon. Mom was hesitant at first kasi alam niyang magkakalat na naman kami sa kwarto dahil sa rami ng pagkaing inorder namin. Pero pumayag pa rin siya sa huli kasa alam naman niyang kailangan ko to. Mom's the best in the world. Napaka thankful ko na siya ang naging nanay ko.

"Harry Potter, everyone!" Hawak-hawak ni Miles ang remote control as she happily declared kung anong panonoorin namin. Harry Potter. Yey.

"Harry Potter na naman? Ano ba naman yan girls. Nababakla ako nito." Reklamo ni Jairus. He's so cute when he does that.

"Ang OA mo ha. Eh si Nash nga gusto to e."

"SHAR!" Sabay na sigaw ni Jairus at Miles.

Lumipad sa bibig ko ang dalawa kong kamay ng ma realize ko ang sinabi ko. Shit! That guy is a virus. He's with me everywhere. Ano ba Sharlene!

"Avengers nalang tayo. Ayoko ng mag Harry Potter." Si Miles na ang nagsabi ng iniisip ko. Good thing she knows me very well. I'm so lucky to have her.

"Great." Matipid na saad ni Jairus.

Tumahimik na lamang ako, guilty of what I just did. I feel sinful towards my own heart. I feel sorry for Jairus, I should have been more careful.

Napapagitnaan ako ni Miles at Jairus ngayon. Seryoso silang nanonood habang hindi ko naman naisasaisip ang palabas. Trying to get my mind off of Nash is never easy. Halos maubos ko na ang isang buong pizza sa kakaisip sa kanya. Sana itinulog ko nalang pala ito.

Natapos ang tatlong avengers movie ng ako nalang at si Jairus ang gising. Pambihira tong si Beshie. Ang lakas pang humilik.

"Patayin ko na" biglang sabi ni Jairus.

"Huh? Sobra ka naman. Kahit gago yun, ayaw ko naman siyang mamatay." Sagot ko.

"What? Yung TV papatayin ko na. Silly girl." Naiirita niyang sabi.

Fuck! Ano ba tong ginagawa ko? I'm making things harder for me.

"Shar, you know I really want you to be happy. And I can't do that if you won't let me. Shar, tulungan mo sana ang sarili mo. Isipin mo muna sarili mo. Ilang taon ka na niyang sinasaktan. Piliin mo naman ang sarili mo." He said this with all sincerity and while holding my hand.

Hindi ko alam pero bigla nalang tumulo ang mga luha ko. Naalala ko na naman ang lahat ng sakit na pinagdaanan ko dahil kay Nash. Why can't I just love this guy in front of me right now so I'd be happy? No matter what I do, I can't stop loving Nash. I can't forget what I feel for him. I tried countless times but I just can't. And now that I'll be spending more time with him, mas magiging mahirap pa ang lahat para sa akin. Ang hirap. Ang sakit.

"Jai, sorry. Sorry dahil nahihirapan ka rin." I cried on his shoulders this time.

"Handa parin akong maghintay Shar. Malabo man ang tsansa ko, hindi parin ako titigil." I felt his hands wrapped around me like a warm blanket on a rainy evening.

I don't understand why my heart just won't feel for him. If only.

"Anak, Nash is here. Papasukin ko ba diyan?" Naputol ang moment namin ni Jai sa sigaw ni mommy.

Did she just say Nash is here? I felt my heart skipped a beat and ached. Jairus was just staring blankly at me while I was forced to speak.

"Uhh, yes mom. The door is open."