Back To You (A NASHLENE fanfic)

Not Again

Para akong pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa matapos sabihin ni Nash ang mga katagang iyon sa akin. Kagabi niya iyon sinabi pero hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako mapakali.

"Shar, can you help me? Alam kong hindi na tayo tulad ng dati pero alam ko naman na magkaibigan pa rin tayo kahit papano, hindi ba?"

Nakatikom lamang ang bibig ko habang pinakikinggan si Nash. He told me to stay to listen to this. Pero bakit kinakabahan ako?

"Ah, oo naman. How can I help you?" I asked, wearily.

"You know, Alexa and I broke up. She broke up with me kasi gusto niyang mag focus siya sa kanyang singing career. And she thinks I'll be a distraction. But I can't just allow that. Mahal ko siya and I know mahal niya rin ako. Hindi niya lang siguro ma realise yun ngayon. And I want her to. I want her to realise that she did wrong."

Tila mga kutsilyong isa-isang tumutusok sa dibdib ko ang mga salitang lumabas sa bibig niya. Did I just sit down to listen to how much the man I love, love somebody else? Napalunok ako ng marahan bago ko napagtantong kailangan ko pa lang magsalita.

"So, what do you want me to do about that?"

I can't believe this.

"I want us to appear sweet in public. I mean, that's not really much of a favour to ask you kasi love team na tayo ngayon. I think it's just fine to act sweet in public, right? We'll appear extra sweeter please." He pouted.

Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. Sa gulat ko ay nabitawan ko ang aking cellphone na hawak-hawak ko sa aking kanang kamay. Laking pasalamat ko ng hindi niya ito napansin. Gabi na rin kasi at tanging mukha lang niya ang mas naaaninag ko dahil sa liwanag ng ginawa nilang bonfire.

"I'm not quite getting to where you're heading, Nash."  Tugon ko habang dahan-dahang kinukuha ang cellphone ko mula sa buhangin.

"Oh come on, Shar. Let's make her jealous. That's it. And then she'll come running back to me."

Not again.

That was all of it. Hindi ko siya sinagot kung payag ba ako sa gusto niyang mangyari o ano. Tumahimik lang ako sa mga oras na iyon. Of course, if I could speak I would tell him I'm not in for the plan. But I couldn't speak. I felt like my knees were going weak and my body is telling me to keep quiet. Fucking deal! So this is how my love life is going to be? Caught in between two man having their own goals but neither one of it benefits me. Jairus loves me. I love Nash. Nash loves Alexa. Alexa loves her singing career. Kung tutuusin, pare-pareho lang kaming talunan na tatlo. Alexa's happy now, or at least that's what I think.

"Shar!" Tawag ni Caroline sakin.

I'm presently absent in my room right now. Kanina pa pala ako sinusubukang kausapin ni Caroline pero hindi ko pala siya napapansin.

"Ah, ba-bakit?" Halos utal kong sabi.

"Ang sabi ko, ready ka na ba sa adventure natin today? We're going to see the island!" She exclaimed with an obviously excited face.

Actually, bihis na ako kanina pa. I'm wearing a denim shorts and a body-hug long sleeve. Wala akong balak maligo di tulad ni Caroline na naghanda pa ng two piece.

"And are you sure you're not taking even a single dip?" She asked while fixing whatever that's going on in her bag.

"Yeah." Matipid kong sagot.

"Shar, if Nash is the problem don't even bother thinking about it." Umupo siya sa tabi ko at nagsimulang maglitanya ng mga opinyon sa tungkol sa nangyari.

Yeah. I told Caroline everything. I really wasn't planning to kasi as much as possible ayaw ko ng may nakakaalam na iba lalo na sa mga kasamahan ko sa team ng aming movie. I hate the idea na may makakapansin ng mga nararamdaman ko. I wanted to be alone on that. But, Caroline overheard me talking to Miles last night. Bago kasi ako natulog kagabi, I called beshie to tell her everything. At akala ko ay tulog na si Caroline noon. Pero ang gaga ay nakikinig pala. Kaya ayun, Caroline now knows.

"Please shut your mouth about this Car. Ang ingay mo oh." I smirked.

"I am shutting my mouth. Pero Shar, I just can't digest it yet. Alam mo naman na I've been to many relationships and had all sorts of feelings about love pero nang malaman ko ang tungkol dito, na realise ko na mukhang hindi ko pa talaga alam kung ano ang tunay na pag-ibig. I mean come on, you've been loving Nash for more than 5 years. That's sick!" She spoke so seriously.

Bihirang gumaganito si Caroline. She's such a care-free person. But at times like this, you'd really know that she's serious.

"How did you even manage?" Tanong niya.

"I couldn't manage it. Kung pwede lang, tinigil ko na sana to." I sighed and looked away.

"Grabi ang hugot ng buhay pag-ibig mo, Shar. Para akong na-eexcite sa mga mangyayari sa iyo. Will it be Jairus or Nash? Hmmm. I'm looking forward to that." She's smiling wickedly now. Quick switch. Haynaku.

"Or who knows I'd find someone else. Yung di na ako mamomroblema." I grinned.

"Love always bring problems, Shar." She said with a meaningful smile.

Hindi ko na talaga alam. Gusto ko ng mag back out doon sa deal namin ni Jairus. Pero anong sasabihin ko? Gusto ko rin sabihin kay Nash na ayaw ko sa gusto niyang mangyari. But, what will I say? Na mahal ko siya at masakit sa akin ang magpanggap? There's no way I would tell him that.

"Let's go" pag-aya ni Caroline.

I stood up and followed her to the door. Bago pa man namin mabuksan ang pintuan ay nakatanggap ako ng isang tawag mula sa kanya.

"Hey, be close to me today." Ang sabi niya.