Somewhere Around My Orbit

bare

I am getting more bare and shedding off every layer of skin that I have. it all started on April 20th, 2017. you pulled a string from the hole on jeans, causing a flood that left me bare. the clothes keep falling, yearning for the touch that darkness brings.

I waited, cold and afraid. the clothes are gone now and I am freezing, but whenever I add a new layer of clothing, it just falls off, exposing my very own skin and bones. you were the blanket that held me captive, sheltering me from natural disasters. what you didn't know was that you were the origin of the disasters. I am not free.

I'm lost in the woods, naked. the cold air burns and my skin begins to peel off. bones exposed, they gleamed pale white. I wander through the woods, hoping to find a new blanket, that will not hold me as a prisoner, but as an equal. while wandering, I found a body of water.

I stare into my reflection, trapped under the water while I was stuck on land. maybe the better me is that reflection, maybe she isn't bare. maybe she feels things better than I do. maybe the entire world stops to see her beauty when she smiles.

no.

that girl, that girl in the reflection is just like me. she thinks the way I think and feels the way I feel. she sees the same world I see. she understands that no one will ever be able to comprehend her scattered thoughts. she knows that happiness is similar to sadness in the way that they are both temporary feelings. she knows that it doesn't get better for people like her, you just get used to it.

that girl in the reflection isn't just an alternate universe version of me. she is me. she represents my thoughts. she has a permanent frown tattooed to her face. she is sad and it's getting bad again.