learning to love yourself is much harder than you think, mom

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self-love is hard to achieve and self-hate is easy to obtain. self-hate is a giant hole that i've dug with my two bare hands. and i hate these hands. they are so dirty
i pick at my hands, hoping to scratch away any trace of the past. the present seeping through my fingertips causes more chaos in my hands.
learning to love yourself is hard when all you've known is self-hate. you grow up telling yourself that you aren't good enough, telling yourself that maybe a little more makeup would do the trick. you grow up avoiding mirrors because staring at your own reflection bothers you.
self-love isn't as easy as "just love yourself dude". it's not as easy as "why can't you just believe that you're beautiful". it's not easy, but it is possible

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