Love Sick

Letters to Eva

Eva

One Month Later

"Why am I always exhausted after our dates?" I groaned as I threw myself onto my bed, feeling Chris giggle as he crawled beside me, kissing my temple before laying on his stomach to face me with a smirk.

"Maybe because they're usually after forty eight hour shifts and nearly ten people have nearly died in our care?" He joked, making me scoff and kick my sandals off, wiggling out of my bra.

"Okay I have a question and it may come out kind of douchy, but I don't mean it in a disrespectful way, so please just hear me out?" He requested as I got up to change into one of his band shirts that he had left over by accident.

"Shoot." I urged, climbing into bed beside him, placing my glasses on the bridge of my nose to wait for his question. He swallowed nervously and I could see worried beads of sweat forming on his brow. "Okay, um, when is the whole sex thing going to happen? I mean we've been together for quite some time, and I just wanted to know if it was something that you wanted to try, or if you wanted to wait?" He blurted out, shock washing over my body as he sat there nervously.

"Oh god, you're mad, I'm sorry, forget I even asked." He rambled, but I held my hand up and exhaled, a lump forming in my throat as I tried to find a valid answer to that question.

"I told you about how I was molested, right?" I immediately answered, watching his face drop in horror, but I quickly took his hand and squeezed it. "Well, in med school, I was pretty crazy about a guy, well, he asked me to marry him, but I refused." I prefaced, making his face drain from color.

"You're not looking for marriage?" Chris nearly whispered, but I held my hand up to quiet him, a lump forming in my throat over the sour memory. "There's a reason I said no, he desperately wanted to have sex with me, and he was a gentleman about it, he asked, and when I said no he didn't do anything to me, but it took a toll on our relationship because he just thought I was being a prude. He would get angry and we would fight, and I ultimately told him that I wanted to wait until marriage, mostly because I wasn't ready to have sex with anyone at that point, and he just couldn't comprehend that." I explained, watching Chris' expression vary in confusion as he listened to my story.

"The day after I told him that I wanted to wait, he showed up to my class with a gaudy ring and a Van Halen album, he asked me to marry him in front of my entire class, and on the album he wrote on the front 'wedding night mix'. I obviously turned him down." I explained, watching Chris' eyes widen with shock and bits of laughter.

"So you had a douchy ex, that was...interesting." He started, gently taking my hands into his own, his expression now soft and understanding.

"For you, I am willing to wait until marriage, I will wait however long you want. If you want to have sex right now I will do it. The point is, I want you to know that you're safe with me, and you can trust me with your body." He vowed, nearly making me burst into tears by the mere look in his blue eyes.

"And, when I ask you to marry me, it won't be so we can have sex, it will be because I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He smiled, kissing my head, I exhaled and felt myself melt into his embrace, waiting a beat before clearing my throat at him.

"It's been a long time since it happened, and I trust you, I know that you won't do anything to make me feel endangered or unsafe. So, let's try it." I whispered with an excited smile, watching his eyes widen with shock as I leaned in and kissed him tenderly, my fingers working their way through his sandy blonde hair.