Life As We Know It

Chapter 20: Small Bump All Over Again

When Rachel wakes up the next morning, she finds Finn's arms are still wrapped around her and for a moment it's normal, they're normal. This is the best night's sleep she has had in a while and she knows it's because she has her 'comforter' back. She doesn't move from his grasp and she doesn't try to wake him up either but she stares into the distance again as Santana and Kurt's confession replays in her mind. Sarah and Jason tried to talk to them so often about their relationship and they both ignored them as they did with everyone else. Even that morning, before they left, Sarah asked Rachel and she told her that Finn and herself could be nothing more than friends. Would it have been any different if she had said yes? Would they still be here having not decided to go on their trip? Guilt takes over Rachel's mind and it paralyses her every time she thinks of Cassie. Cassie's parents would still be there if it wasn't for them and now look at them; they were falling apart and Rachel didn't know where anything stood anymore.

When she spoke to Carole yesterday she thought they could find a resolve, talk it out even if that meant deciding to start over, or just be best friends. More to the point, she had to tell Finn she was possibly carrying his child; this would change everything and she hoped it was for the better but at this moment her mind was only registering one thing, Sarah died for her.

It's another 20 minutes before Cassie will be up and she feels like she has neglected her lately; not doing the breakfast runs and so forth. She doesn't want to leave the comfort she has right now because lying in his arms feels like home. She's missed it. She's missed him. It's as though he can read her mind because his fingers find hers and they loop together and she looks up to see him close his eyes again so she holds on tight. She needs him back. She wants what they had back.

He's been awake longer than she has and he's just taking in this moment because he's missed this and her so much. Having her in his arms again brought him comfort and he slept well. He even notices that Rachel hadn't woken up once during the night to throw up as she had done in the previous nights. When he realises she is awake he watches her for a few seconds as she stares in to the distance probably thinking exactly what he is. Their friends lost their lives while basically trying to get them together. What if Finn had known the true extent of his feelings for Rachel and had told Jason it that morning, would Jason and Sarah still be here? They wouldn't go away to leave their daughter with him and Rachel and their little girl would still have her parents. Santana's words strike hard in his mind 'Fate had other plans' and Finn thinks she is right. He knows she is right because look at where they are today. But where were they today? Barely speaking and barely getting along. It's not right. None of it is. It's so messed up and he doesn't know where to begin to fix it.

They both knowingly stay like that together, Rachel drawing small patterns on Finn's arm before the alarm goes off. Without a word, Rachel turns around and places a kiss on Finn's lip, stunning him before she rolls off the bed, shyly tucks her hair behind her ear and thanks him and walks off towards Cassie's room.

He lies there, flat on his back wondering what just happened, eventually breaking out of his thought process and making his way to help getting Cassie and breakfast ready. Once again, in total silence and without words, they work in sync getting ready and taking Cassie to day care while Finn goes off to work his shift at Sweet Notes.

Finn leaves the shop early wanting to come home and check on Rachel and ask about where they are and what happened this morning.

He's been left rather confused by her actions lately; she lets him get close but holds back at the same time. Talking is always kept at a minimum, but last night she let him hold her and it felt like their little world was normal again, like nothing had happened. He doesn't want to push her, especially when she's been so off lately and has been very ill. He worries about her even more and wonders what this latest revelation is doing to her because he knows it's eating him up inside.