Promise you'll remember me

It was a  New Years Day.We arrive at US and stay in the apartment my father had already arranged.It was not far away from the IKON Hospital.It was only a 15 minute walk from our apartment.The apartment dad got was a big and beautiful one.I check my phone if there will be any messages or calls from Sehun.None.I feel shameless for still expecting him to talk to me after what I've done to him.
The apartment has four bedrooms,two bathrooms,kitchen and a beautiful living room.My parents shared the same bedroom while me and my brother got separate rooms.I miss my friends,my country,Sehun.....I look at our photos ,the funny videos that he sent me and our sweet messages.I reminisce the past memories of  love and laughter,how Sehun and I fall in love.When I broke up with him,I never mentioned that I don't love him anymore.I want him to stop me from walking away.I want him to hug me from behind telling me that he can't let me go.Even though I broke up with him,I want to call and let him know that I love him so much,how much I miss his voice and wanted to be in his arms.I wanted to hear him say this is not the end for us.
"Min Taerin those only happens movies" I whisper to myself.

I receive a call from Jonghyun and we talk for hours.They (SHINee) will be having concert in China,Thailand and Japan for two weeks.He sounds so excited and happy.I'm glad that he now really understands the meaning of life.

From day after tomorrow,we will start my treatment for about two weeks and after that, operation will be done.

So before the treatment starts,we would go for family outing and have lots of fun.It's nice when we've spent together with our family.I love them so much.

AFTER TWO DAYS

I was now admitted in the IKON Hospital and for two weeks,I undergo several treatment as it was necessary before they could perform the operation.

Before the night of my operation,I told my parents,brothers and visitors to leave me alone for sometime.I took my diary and continue writing down about my feelings and my life when I'm with the love of my life.Sehun.He is my love and laughter.I miss him so much.
I wish if this all was just a dream.I regret knowing him.But I regret more the fact "I tell myself  that I regret knowing him".

After tomorrow's operation,I'll lost my memory.It hurts me beforehand that after the operation,I will not know my parents,my brother,the person whom I call my friend and the person who love me and I love most.

I can't get any sleep and so I lay awake thinking about everything.I decided to call Sehun atlast and tell him how much I love him and miss him.As I searched my phone,I remember that I had left it inside my closet at the apartment.

"Can't you sleep? Dongsaeng" my brother silently ask.

"Oppa I miss Sehun so much" I sob.

"Yes I know that.But you should get some sleep tonight"  he said wiping my tears away.

"Do you know that I will not remember you,mom and dad and everyone else from tomorrow?" I muttered.

He don't answer me.He was sobbing silently.
"Forgive me Taerinah......I should've been a better brother to you.Sorry I can't do anything to help you go through this without letting you suffer amnesia"

"You are the best brother in the world oppa.You are supportive and always cared for me.You give me what is best.You always make me happy.And you know what........because of you,I met Sehun"

"I love you Dongsaeng"

"I love you too oppa." I replied.

We cuddled each other and cried.

NEXT DAY.MY OPERATION DAY.

It was morning.My operation will be performed at 10:00am.I look at the time.It was ticking by so fast.My worst nightmare is waiting in front of me.My parents talk to me but I have no energy to reply them as I was stressed too much.I don't feel like talking to anyone.

It was now 9:51am.

I handed a letter to my brother telling him to give Sehun.

Nurses enters my room and let me lie down in a separate bed and strolling me out from my room.

We were heading towards
"OPERATION THEATRE"

"Taerinah!!Taerinah!!!!"
Do I just heard my name? The voice sounded like Sehun.I must be hallucinating things as I was thinking alot about him.

"TAERINAH!!!!"

The voice keeps on getting louder and clearer.It was Sehun.It was really him.

I told the nurse to stop strolling.I saw him with my own two eyes.He was approaching towards me hurriedly.He stand beside me.His tears were flowing in his cheek so fast.It covered his face.

"Sehunah.....it was really you......you came" I was sobbing.I tried to get up but I have no energy.I can't get up.He caress my hair and wipe my tears away that covered my face.

"I love you.....Forgive me....its my fault for not knowing that you suffer even when you have been giving me hints along.I should have been more careful" He can barely say.

"Shhh....don't say that.I should've told you.....Sehunah even if I don't remember you....even if I don't ............love you or want....you after this.....please don't let me go....don't leave me ....please.I love you"

"We will grow old together....remember that? And do you remember the song you dedicated to me? 'I wanna grow old with you'......I now dedicated to you......No matter what happens,you will always be mine and I will be yours.You're mine.I own you.I will do whatever it takes if its for you to love me again.....but I won't push or force you to love me....I love you....love you so much Taerinah......You won't know me but still...promise that you'll remember me."
He tried hard to smile.

I nodded my head and said
"I promise that I'll...........remember......you.Sehunah please don't let me go.I will always love you....Till we meet again"

He gently kiss my forehead and slowly let go of my hand.I hold him tightly but its slipping away.
He whisper "I love you Taerin"

I look at Jonghyun who was standing in the corner.He was crying too.I tried my best to grin at him.Everyone is sobbing.I look at Sehun again.But the distance between us keeps on getting further and further away.He is crying and smiling at me.

I can no longer see them.Luminous lights were above me.Then they inject me with something.

It all went black.