Breathe

Chapter 16 - Want to go on an Adventure?

 We walked upon rolling, wide hills and flowery meadows until we reached our humble abode. Then, without a care, Phil tumbled onto the ground, rolling until he reached the bottom of the hill where our house lay. He sat up and looked up at me. Mud stained his face, but there was still a beaming look on it, and it was practically screaming, "Join me."

Casually, I strolled down the hill and met him at the bottom. Then, I sat down next to him—right on a clear space where only the grass lay. Then, like him, I leaned my arms against the field and looked at the sky.

Tonight, the sky looked more bright than it usually was. With the moon beaming down at us, making the sky light up, I could barely see all the stars. However, their twinkles were still there, and their light rivaled the one in the brune's. There was a dark blue hue, too, and with the off-white look of the stars, it couldn't be more beautiful.

Tonight couldn't be more beautiful.

There was a subtle sound of silence that was accompanied by the sound of late summer, and by the way the crickets chirped, I could tell that it was almost time for autumn. In a few days, these warm days were going to get colder and colder and colder. But in a few days, these long beautiful nights were bound to get longer and longer and longer, so was it really such a shame? Being able to sit here, on the grass, enjoying the weather and the view was going to start to last longer. One day, these days are going to seem to last forever and ever and ever.

But was that really what I wanted?

For a second, I let my eyes stray back to him. His eyes were filled with wonder—the same wonder they held the first night that we came out. He was like a child in a field of flowers, staring amazed at all the nature that was around him. It was almost pure, almost innocent—almost as though we had gone back to a time when nothing really mattered.

But there was never a time like that.

There was always a time when there was worry. We always worried. We always had to watch our backs, make sure that no one was going to shoot us when we went around the corner. We had to make sure that we weren't wasting our numbered days, that the next day wouldn't our last—that today wouldn't be our last. And now that our days are definitely limited, why are we wasting them here, looking at the sky? What's the point of being alive if it's not for living for the dead, who were bound to do something better, more productive than what we are doing right now?

Cinnamon.

I was beginning to smell that sweet scent of cinnamon spice again. It flooded my senses, and for a second, I thought I could see her looking at me from the sky. I rubbed my eyes, and like always, she disappeared.

She only ever disappears.

"You know, Al." I looked back at him. He was still looking at the sky. "We're always going out here, aren't we?"

I looked back at the grass. "We are," I replied as I began to pull on the grass. "Every night that we can, we're out here."

Silence. Insufferable silence. I glanced at him. He still had that stupid, amazed look on his face. Why won't he say anything?

As though he could hear my thoughts, he asked, "So is this boring for you?"

I stopped tugging on the grass. Slowly, the blades fell back to the Earth it was pulled from. "What?"

Finally, he turned to look at me. With a serious look, he asked, "Are you bored being here with me?"

Not knowing what to say, I stayed quiet. What was I supposed to say? That I felt uneasy? That I felt as though we were wasting time, laying here in the grass? No, I couldn't say that—these nights are too precious for him. These were the nights that he was looking forward to ever since he was a kid. Could I take those away from him? I looked away. Then again, he was taking away my nights from me, too. It was possible for him to spend his nights out here alone, without taking me along. So why was it important that he always took me along? I glanced back at him. Why did he always ask me to come out here with him?

I didn't dare ask him. Instead, I lied, "No."

He looked down. His eyes wandered to the pulled grass that laid in front of us. He knew. The look in his eyes told me that he knew. Hugging his knees, he murmured, "You know, you don't need to lie to me, Al. I can tell when you're lying and you're lying to me right now. Not saying that I don't appreciate it. It shows that you care about the things I like." Looking up at me, he cracked a smile, "I do wish that these nights never ended. I wish that they'd continue forever and ever. I wish the sky will never change color, I wish that the stars will always shine, I wish that I can be here forever with you. Just you. I don't really need anyone else, anyway."

He laughed.

"But it kinda hurts how you don't feel the same way. It hurts that I'm the one doing all the talking, even though you're less than an arm's reach away. I just feel like I'm always the one carrying our relationship like you don't really like me. I know it's not true, but I just... I don't know. All I know is that it hurts because I know that you don't feel the way that I feel."

His eyes grew droopier but in an instant, they sparked back to life again. He shook his head and gently slapped his face. Then, he turned back to me and smiled. "Never mind what I said. I guess my mood is following the changing seasons, huh?" He grinned. "I'm happy to be with you."

Then, he looked back at the sky. And like a time before, he let his backdrop to the Earth and closing his eyes, he sang a familiar song. And as he sang, I felt my eyes close and my body relax.

Stars shining bright above you

Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"

Birds singing in a sycamore tree

Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty night and kiss me

Just hold me tight and tell me you miss me

While I'm alone and blue as can be

Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear

Still craving your kiss

I'm longing to linger till dawn dear

Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you

Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you

But in your dreams whatever they be

Dream a little dream of me

Then, it was quiet again. It was quiet for a while longer until he broke the silence and called my name.

"Al?"

I opened my eyes. He was towering over me and I could see my reflection in his eyes. I remembered what I read a few hours ago and got up. I gave him my hand. Suddenly, I knew what I had to do and I knew that he would probably- no, would definitely help me.

I sat up. He backed away. With a straight face, and to his surprise, I asked, "Want to go on an adventure?"