Lost | Park Jihoon

Twenty Five

VENIZZE

I immediately put down my phone and get out of my room when I saw Jihoon's chat. I think I should tell it to him.

But how can I tell it to him without even crying?

I sighed. I literally have no guts to tell it to anyone because I know I will just cry... I cried once to Kuya Hyunbin when I told it to him what more if I would tell it to Jihoon?

But do I have any choice? Lumabas na ako ng kwarto ko at nasa harap na ako ngayon ni Jihoon eh, do I have any choice? No.

"Venizze..." he uttered when he saw me "I'm sorry. Hindi mo naman kailangan agad sabihin sa akin. Naiintindihan naman kita eh."

I just smiled when he said that at marahang umiling "Nah, it's okay, Ji. Mapapatagal pa kung hindi ko sasabihin sa iyo iyon ngayon eh."

"Are you sure it's okay?"

I nodded before smacking his arm "Para kang sira. Kanina sabi ka ng sabi na sabihin ko na sayo, ngayon naman ayaw mo na sabihin ko sayo"

He smiled "Just making sure na hindi ka lang napipilitan."

I smiled again.

"Hmm. Gusto mo sa garden tayo, Venizze? I think it would be better if doon mo sasabihin sa akin yung sasabihin mo." Jihoon suggested which I like also so I just nodded that serves as my answer and then he lead me to the garden.

Umupo kami sa may grassy part ng garden at after non naging tahimik na si Jihoon. He's probably waiting for me to speak up about it.

I sighed.

It's really hard pero I need to tell it to him. He's my friend now after all might as well trust him more since he is my friend. Hmm.

"I was ten years old when I first met him. He looks so weak at shy," napangisi pa ako ng marahan "So, I approached him. Sinabi ko pa nga sakanya na he shouldn't be weak or shy for a boy like him that eventually will be a man. Little did I know nag-enjoy na kami parehas sa company namin at ayon because of that encounter naging mag-best friend kami,"

"Coincidence nga dahil magkaparehas pala kami ng school at magkaiba lang kami ng section. Who would've thought na yung lalaking patpatin na yon nag-aaral sa isang sports academic school?" I laughed "We've been best friends ever since that encounter until we're in college. We're 16 years old back then and he's really good in basketball and in fact he's the captain ball in our school varsity team."

"But little did I know that he's suffering from a damn disease. Kaya pala he looks so weak nung unang beses ko siyang nakita nung 10 years old ako."

Napayuko nalang ako. Ewan ko ba. Parang kahapon lang ang lahat ng 'yon. Hindi ko pa rin makalimutan eh. Ang sakit pa rin talaga.

"It's freakin' lung cancer," natawa ako ng marahan "Sa galing niyang mag-basketball meron pala siyang cancer. Ang sakit lang isipin na ganon ang kapalaran niya. He told me na nawala na yun nung 10 years old siya. Natapos na niya yung mga chemotherapies niya eh. He's okay na pero sadyang payat lang talaga siya. Everything is fcking okay until he turned 16,"

"Yung walang hiyang sakit niya bumalik sakanya at mas malala pa. Stage 4. Fcking stage 4. I can't believe na babalik pa ang sakit niya. I saw how he suffered from that illness. I'm always there during his chemotherapies. Kapag tapos ko pumasok didiretsyo agad ako sa hospital to enjoy each time na I'm with him."

My eyes started to be watery at this moment kaya tumigil muna ako and Jihoon caressed my back.

Huminga muna ako ng malalim.

"Akala ko talaga yun na yon eh. Pero may mas malala pa pala. And it's on my birthday. On my freakin sixteen birthday, Liam and his family met and accident on their way to our house. Walang nakaligtas sakanila. All of them died. On my...birthday,"

"Hindi ko matanggap bakit kailangan pa nung araw na yon eh. Sa araw ng birthday ko namatay ang best friend ko. How cruel life isn't it?"

Tahimik lang si Jihoon. Pinapakinggan lang si Venizze kaso hindi na ito nagsalita pa pagkatapos niyon.

"So, is he really that special for you? Kaya hindi mo matanggap na...wala na siya?"

Ipinatong ni Venizze ang kanyang ulo sa balikat ni Jihoon bago siya sumagot.

"Of course he is. He's my best friend. Siya yung taong lagi nandyan sa akin kapag nalulungkot ako, kapag masaya ako, kapag depressed ako. All the time he was there at ganoon din ako sakanya. Di ko lang matanggap bakit sa birthday ko pa. Bakit sa birthday ko pa siya nawala. Bakit aksidente? Bakit siya pa? May sakit na nga siya eh, tapos naaksidente pa buong pamilya niya.. on my fcking birthday!"

Naramdaman ni Jihoon ang bawat pagpatak ng kanyang luha kaya Jihoon lifted her face and brushed off all the tears in her face and after it he cupped her face.

"Venizze, look at me. 'Wag mong sisihin ang sarili mo. It's not your fault. Aksidente yon."

Mas lalo lang siyang naiyak

"Venizze, hindi gugustuhin ni Liam na umiiyak ka ngayon at sinisisi mo ang sarili mo dahil sa nangyari. Sigurado ako gusto ni Liam maging masaya ka at hindi malungkot."

Umiling si Venizze "H-How can I be happy is he's not here already? Paano ko mahaharap ang bawat pagsubok ngayong wala na siya dito?"

Jihoon smiled a bit "You still have your family, Venizze. You have your friends also. At syempre ako... nandito rin naman ako para sayo eh."

"Are you sure you will never leave me?"

"I will not leave you, Venizze. That's for sure."

"Then promise me."

Nagpinky swear pa ito kay Jihoon at tinanggap naman niya ito.

"I promise you, Venizze. Hindi kita iiwan."

"Kahit after ko mag-stay dito sa retreat house?"

"Of course, Venizze."