The Trip Of We ( PAUSED)

Chapter Nineteen: Help Me

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Chapter Nineteen: Help Me

Eight minutes later and I'm still staring at the picture, trying to make out things in my head. Trying to make out excuses for him. Trying to justify his actions.

Maybe he was drunk. Maybe he was involved in a truth or dare. Maybe they were just friends caught in a weird position.
I was looking for a way to minimize the pain. It felt like I was trapped underwater choking and struggling for oxygen. I struggled to control the nausea that was slowly overpowering me. Everything hurt. Physically, Mentally ,Emotionally.

And suddenly I remember the night of the concert. What Aurora said about the ticket.
Jason wanted to go with this girl but I guess she was kinda busy so he gave me the tickets.

Fuck.
It was Layla. I thought they broke up. My miserable heart thought they were over. Apparently they weren't. Thinking of Layla made my eyes get heavier.
Layla was this kind of girl that never failed to turn heads.

She wasn't thin like those runway model. She wasn't fat either. She was.....Layla.

She had this tiny waist that looked fragile.
Her hips stretched into a sharp curve, and her toned legs effortlessly made her look balanced. She was full, curvy and blessed. Most people with that stature would either look fat or overly thick but she didn't look like that. Her chest was plump, her stomach flat and her hips wide, her legs spotless.

Her hair was jet black. If possible darker than black. Her mom was half Chinese so I could guess that was where she got her hair color and texture.
If I straightened my hair every hour, I wouldn't still be able to achieve that pin straight hair. They stopped at her shoulder evenly.
Her lips were naturally curled into a smile and instead of my full lips, she had these not too big and not too small lips.

Her tanned skin didn't help matters.
The main point was that I didn't stand a chance near her.
I wasn't tall. I didn't have her killer waist. I didn't even have a plump chest and hips. I  definitely couldn't compete with her. My hair wasn't black. It was blonde and stuck out every where. And when I finally managed to comb it, it formed waves that stopped slightly above my butt.

I wasn't lively and I hardly made heads turn where ever I went. I was just this blonde tomato who couldn't stop blushing at everything. I was just this ugly dumpling that gets bullied all over and over. I was the kid that had memories that I couldn't share. I was the kid who had no choice but to read inspirational quotes like "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger".

But that wasn't the worst about Layla. And the worst thing about her made me guilty as hell.
She wasn't a stereotypical high school beauty. In fact she was nice. She always had a smile plastered on her face. She never bullied me. She didn't look at me in a condescending way. She wasn't a bitch who got overprotective.

And I hated that.

I hated that she didn't bully me. If she did, I would have an excuse against her. An excuse to love him. I hated that she smiled at me when getting my lunch. I hated that she didn't hit me with the ball during gym. I hated that she didn't trip me in the hallways.

It made me guilty. She was so nice and here I was crushing away on him.
That guilt coupled with my heartbreak and torture from the past sat heavily on my chest. It crippled me.

I'll never be good enough for him. Why did I even think he was beginning to like me. Hell, he was toying with my feelings, trying to kiss me and all. He was a player. He knew exactly how I felt and made me a huge fool.

Suddenly I feel the need to talk to someone. The pain was unbearable. Why did he build my hopes only to tear them into millions of tiny shreds. I felt like sharp claws were tugging at my throat and my heart was being mashed. He tried to kiss me. He even carried me when I was broken.

My hands automatically found the contacts on my phone.
Aurora. She would know what to say. How to calm me down.
The phone rang twice before her voice echoed.
"Hey babe. How are you feeling?" Her cheery voice bounced.

I wasn't sure I could say anything. My throat became dry all of a sudden. This was Jason's sister. Would she want to hear this?
Maybe I would be able to tell her in person.

"Can..you come over?" I asked trying to sound confident.

"Fuck. I'm in Mr Farhan's class. That Indian teacher that teaches math? I forgot we were going to have test today so I'm prepping for it. Is anything wrong?"

A part of me was happy that she couldn't make it. I would have more time to think of how I'll tell her in person.
My silence however sent a message.

"You saw it?"
She knew. And she didn't tell me.
"You know?"

"I'm so sorry Eva. I couldn't tell you that they were back together in your state."

I closed my eyes, feeling the vein in my neck throbbing violently. I didn't want to talk to her.

"I'm sorry. Tell you what. I'll make it up to you. I know who can help you now."

"Help me?" I choked.

"Yeah. Adam" with that she hung up.
What did she think she was doing? Adam? Of all people into the world I didn't want any of the SERENADE to see me like this.
I tried dialing her her number again but she didn't pick up.

Great! Judging from the distance between my school he would probably be here soon.

And by soon I mean now because I can hear the door being knocked.

"Eva. Open the door"
I was doomed today.

So, this chapter was originally meant to be long but I cut it into two. It made more sense that way. We are approaching chapter twenty. Woah. I really want to hear your comments and your feelings.
Anyways, what have you guys been up to? I'm here curling under my comforter and reading novels beacuse this winter is brutal.
Random question: Do you prefer saving or spending money as you get it?
I'm a little of the both but I tend to get frugal sometimes.
Till then my favorite strawberry shortcake!!