Seeker's Keeper

I

The Seeker
~*~
AXES

"akala ko ba nasa moving on stage ka pa, bakit may iba ka na naman?!" hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko kaya nasigawan ko siya, napatingin naman ang ibang customer samin

last week lang grabe yung iyak niya sakin tas eto, may bago ULIT sya.

"eeeh, kasi dba the best way to move on is to divert your attention to another person" sabi niya at nginitian ako pero nakadagdag lang yun sa pagkainis ko.

Hindi ko alam kung ano pang mga salita ang sasabihin ko sa kanya dahil halos lahat naman ay nasabi at naparating ko na.
I hate the fact that she's wasting her time playing arround, yes its good that she's exploring but not this much na halos every week ay paiba-iba ang boyfriend niya.

"ano, Panakip butas? Aly naman niloloko mo yung tao"

"hindi kaya, matagal ko nang manliligaw yun binigyan ko lang ng chance" dagdag pa niya at nag pout

"edi parang ganun din yun!" sigaw ko ulit kaya Napatingin na naman ang mga customer at may lumapit na din na waiter

"sir, is everything okay?"

dahil sa inis pa din ako si Aly na ang sumagot sa waiter

"yes, we're fine" sabay ngiti pa dito,
ngumiti din ito at umalis na

"tss. fine? do I look fine, My bestfriend is in a relationship AGAIN, and wow last week lang sila nagbreak ng ex niya, Yan ba yung fine" pinigilan ko na ang inis ko pero bakas parin ang galit ko sa bawat pagdiin ko ng mga salita.

"Calm down will you, and sorry okay, I didnt mean to look desperate, kasalan ko bang madali ako mainlove" she argued and roll her eyes at me.

'oo, kaya madali ka ring masaktan' Ano bang meron sa kanila na wala sakin? Bakit hindi ako?

"you know what, bahala ka, kahit ano namang sabihin ko hindi ka makikinig eh, seriously ako lang ba ang concern sayo dito, you jump from one relationship to another"
kinuha ko na ang bag ko at akmang aalis na ng pinigilan niya ako.

"eeeh,please dont walk out on me" hawak ang kamay ko habang nakapout

sa ganitong stage, ay nakaupo na dapat ako at pinipisil ang pisngi niya o sasabihin 'fine, your sorry is accepted" but No, dapat lang na matuto siya. 'This is not love, this is Playing around'. Tapos ano sa huli siya yung iiyak. Dahil siya yung natalo sa larong siya namang nag aya.

Enough of this, tumingin ako sa wrist watch ko para alamin kung time na para sa class ko. Hindi nga ako nagkakamali dahil 30 mins. nalang ay next class ko na.

"I'm going, may klase pa ako, mag usap nalang ulit tayo pag alam mo na ang kasalanan ginawa mo" binitawan niya na ang kamay ko at yumuko. I hate seeing her like this. I hate it when she's sad.

I sign in frustration,great ni pagwalk out hindi ko kaya.Bakit ba pagdating sa kanya ay hinanghina ako, na parang palagi akong takot kasi baka isang pagkakamali ko lang ay mawawala siya.

sinuot ko na ang bag ko. at umupo sa gilid niya at pinat ang ulo niya.

I calmed myself first at saka nagsalita.
"Hintayin mo nalang yung inorder kong Pasta, dont worry kiddy spaghetti yun i know you hate  italian, text mo ko pag tapos ka na para makagrab ako ng uber, wag kang magtaxi dahil hindi safe. And please dont forget to text pag nakauwi ka na, understand?"

"yes boss" ngayon nakangiti na siya at nagsalute pa

i kissed her forehead,and left the restaurant.

tamang tama lang dahil naka abang na yung Uber, after closing the door I glanced at her for the last time. Kumakain na ito ng favorite niya habang may kausap sa phone, at tumatawa. One thing is for sure its her NEW boyfriend.

I wanna curse so loud.

"sh*t" i whispered.

I want to tell her from the very beginning that I like her, that she's the only one who makes my heart beat rappidly.

~I was 17 when my parents attended a Party for a cost. Its my first time attending that party,because I know parties like this is boring; not that I hate helping people, its just wierd that I should be used to this because we have Hopitals and its mission is to help people that needs medical help. But there's something on this party that made me said yes when my mom asked me if I could come."Axes, please smile, baka isipin nila na hindi ka nag eenjoy" mom said. I want to answer her that I'm not a kid anymore and yes hindi ako nageenjoy, I just want to end this party and go home.
I went outside the mansion and walked to the garden. When i saw a girl she's sitting on the bench while--wait is she counting the stars? Weirdo, but I cant stop staring at her and suddenly she turned her gaze towards me.

My heart kept on pounding rappidly that I felt anytime it will come out from my chest, Not because she  catched me watching at her but because of her angelic face.
She's so beautiful,a total babe.
"Stop staring at me" she said and rolled her eyes. Later on she patted the seat beside her asking me to sit right next to her. So i did and that was my mistake, because the moment I sat next to her is the time, I accepted her in my life.That night we counted the stars together. Its wierd, and I want to stop, but I can't.~

I smiled sadly while reminiscing those vivid memories.
I should blame myself, I restrain myself from confessing my feelings for her. Its my fault that we ended as bestfriends.
For 5 years bakit ko sinanay ang sarili ko na maging bestfriend lang, Bakit hindi ako nagconfess sa kanya? Bakit tuwing gagawin ko yun ay may pumipigil sakin?
Am I being coward? Maybe or maybe I'm just afraid to lose everything. Our Memories together, Our Friendship, and most especially Her,.
This is so hard, so effin' hard to fall inlove to the person who is too blind to love you back.

~•~