All my love

Exist

Ayla was like something he's never seen before, Logan decided on that fateful night beneath their cotten fort. She was odd in an odd way and did odd things that he never would have done himself. She was a sight to behold, her blonde waves framing her face and stopping short at her shoulders. Her blue eyes were ablaze with laughter as he told her a joke that no one else would understand. Ayla was the kind of odd that Logan liked, he decided as they watched the 5th Harry Potter movie that night, with their limbs tangled amongst the fluffy blankets. She was an amazing friend too, Logan decided as he cried into her shoulder, gripping the muscles on her back for dear life. He desperately wished he had that shoulder tonight as he read the short note written by her parents to him. Sobs racked through his body and he thought of how comforting she was. She wouldn't call him weak, she wouldn't make fun of him, she would hold him and sing his favorite song as she placed light kisses to his temple. Logan was instantly reminded of the last time he spoke to her, mere hours ago. She was a good kisser too, Logan decided as her lips slid across his. As she laid in their jumbled mess of blankets under a fort, as he kissed her lips numb, as she pulled at his blonde tuffs of hair and electricity shot down his spine, Logan thought of how good she really was. He laid face down on the lump of blankets and decided he liked the smell they held because it smelled like her. As feelings, brash and hard, hit down on him, as his thoughts drowned out the sound of the tv, and all of it became too much, he made a precipitous decision.

Drunk on the smell of her, he found himself at her doorstep. After reading the note several times, some part of him still expected, hoped, that she would answer the door. That all vanished however as the door swung open and her parents, staring wide- eyed at him for a moment, embraced him in a hug. Logan stood stock still, too shocked, too numb to move. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, years passed until someone spoke up. "It's so quiet tonight for such a hectic night." Her mom spoke, her words backed by an excessive amount of air from her panting. Her eyes were dry for the moment but you could tell she had been crying.

"She liked the silent." Logan stated, remembering the quiet nights spent her room. She said it was nice to not have to do anything or say anything or have anything expected of her, she just wanted to exist, so they just sat and existed in the comfortable silence. Tonights silence however wasn't so comfortable nor did he feel like existing in the suddenly heavy feeling fog. He looked around at the houses, unaware of what's happening outside in the crisp air, just as he was unaware of the light looming in the upstairs window of Aylas' house until he stretched his gaze upwards. He suddenly felt confined in the open air and desperately pushed everyone away from him and bolted down the dimly lit street with no exact destination in mind. He felt overwhelmed by the thoughts looming in his mind. His breath fell short as he remembered what she told him 8 years ago, as he remembered what that little light meant.

"What's your favorite scent?" Ayla asked the tall blonde haired boy. He tapped his chin in thought before replying with vanilla. She had one of those smirks on her lips that told Logan she was planning something mischievous as she plucked a vanilla candle from the bottom shelf and a lavender one from the top and brought them to the counter. Neither of them said a word until they stepped outside and she handed him the lavender one.

"What are these for?" Logan moved the candle around in his palms nervously.

"These are for when any of us are planning on running away, just light it and put it by your window a while before you flee so that we can either stop you from doing so or at least know the other is safe." She replied as if it were simple but it confused Logan more than algebraic expressions.

"Why would any of us plan on running away?" Logan cringed as he asked this question. He felt stupid for not knowing.She fell silent for a moment, only staring bitterly at the candle in her hands and Logan desperately the ground would just swallow him whole. Logan almost took back his question until she popped her head up and answered.

"Sometimes not even the silence is enough and you just want to stop existing for a moment."

Logan remembered those words quite clearly. He remembered her somber expression as she said them too. He didn't quite understand it all then, but he remembered it. That was 8 years ago and both candles laid untouched for all this time. His lavender one still sat in his window sill, unlit. Logan slid his back down the nearest brick wall, his hot face covered by his hands, wondering where this mysterious missing girl could have gone. She didn't like the night, neither did he, they much preferred the comfort of their homes, but tonight both teens ventured into the night, neither with a destination in mind nor an idea of what was to come.

Logan usually liked the silence, it was often peaceful and calming, but tonight it was anything but that. The silence left space that his mind would fill with dreadful thoughts. Whether it was nostalgic or tragic, they were thoughts at that and they still plagued his mind. However he continued to search and think these terrible thoughts until he could no longer.

As the dreary day came to close and the sky turned pink, Logan turned back home, too tired to deal with the insanity anymore. The block before his was oddly quiet, giving him an eerie feeling. His block, was oddly loud. Not that there was loud talking or other noises, but there was just a lot going on. Police cars lined the street, and people crowded around the missing girls' house. He walked hesitantly towards the house but the next steps were rushed. Ushered by two large men, he saw the body of a girl he thought was no more, but little did he know she really was no more. Little did he know, not a limb in her body could longer function nor a cell in her brain. Little did she know the missing girl was dead.

But he had not a clue that her eyes were no longer a cheery blue, that he curls were no longer a lovely bounce, that her lungs no longer took in oxygen, that he lips could no longer kiss his. "Ayla!" Logan shouted, not giving damn that he was the loudest on the street. He pushed through the crowd, he desperately clawed his way out. He ran until he could no more, he ran until the police held him back, then he ran in the opposite direction. He wasn't there to watch them lay the lifeless girl onto a gurney or for them to wheel her away. He wasn't there in her time of need, nor her time of desperation. He was there in the silence when he could have been the noise, he could have made a difference, but he didn't. He no longer felt numb, but he wish he had. He now dreaded his existence, wishing he could give it to her The pain gnawed at him until it became too much. He plopped onto the cold, hard ground, no longer being able to bear standing. He mindlessly pulled out the orange container from his bag and read which pills he pulled. A small hopeless kind of laughter escaped his chapped lips as he read 'antidepressant'. 'How ironic' he thought. He popped one into his mouth.

Two...
Three...
Four...
Five...

And the pain was gone, all feelings were gone. His body lay lifelessly on the ground waiting for someone to notice, but no one ever will. He was a ghost to everyone that wasn't her, and now they both were ghosts.

Ayla was mysterious. Only Ayla knew what Ayla thought. Logan thought he was in on this too, but he wasn't. The did have a lot in common however. They both hated pain, and when they couldn't take it anymore they didn't.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another depressing story?
Thannnnnkkkksss.

I quoted a vine there for ya bc vine may be dead but it lives on in my heart.

This is the story I wrote for the first nine weeks in English and my class loved it😋

And it wasn't even the only depressing story, everyone's story was depressing..... I mean I think that symbolizes something....

And yes, this is in fact a fic between Logan Paul and Ayla. Also it's aYLa not aLYa from mlb. It's my story and I was fully convinced I wrote something about Logan and Alya at first.😂 I still consider this an original story bc I used their names but not their character or relationship in anyways so🤷🏼‍♀️

Sooooo I'm not checking for mistakes and I wrote this months ago so idek what it's about but oops🤷🏼‍♀️

Anywayyyysss
Ily- Lizzy