HEAL ME × changlix | stray kids

SIX

SIX

After English class was over, Changbin quickly left. Again, not giving Felix a chance to say goodbye or ask him to walk together.

Felix was kind of sad about that, being interested in Changbin a lot. He really wanted to get to know the other boy, wanted him to open up and wanted to help him. Also, he was very attracted to him and wanted to get his attention, but he would never admit that.

Changbin really was attractive to him. He had black hair and dark eyes, a muscular body and an overall dark look. On top of that he seemed mysterious and cold, but Felix knew he was a nice person deep inside. Changbin also was an excellent student and being smart is attractive.

Felix wanted to facepalm himself. He was thinking too much about this. In short, Changbin was his type but it was probably impossible to not find the black-haired boy attractive. Looking at the group of girls coming up to him to walk home with him he hid his confusion.

Yes, Changbin was acting cold and rejecting but he could not understand why there weren't any girls interested in him.

At home, the dark-haired boy would greet his grandma and then go upstairs. His grandmas house was not the biggest but since it was only them two living there, they had many rooms that they didn't need. It was quite nice because that way they were able to do their thing without bothering each other.

After Changbin had finished doing his homework he did his daily work-out. Doing that helped him to reduce stress and while working out he wouldn't think of his parents that much, so he worked out a lot, exhausting himself until he felt like passing out.

The dark-haired boy had been through every possible way of coping: crying, yelling, self-harming, not eating, eating too much, not speaking... the list was a long one. But then he grew tired of listening to the therapists talking every week and felt sorry for making his grandma suffer even more, so he started doing workouts.

Even though he often was overdoing it most of the time, which was not healthy at all, people accepted it and even complimented it. Changbin chuckled a little. He thought it was weird that what he was doing now was considered okay, even praised, while he had to be ashamed of the scars on his legs and wrists.

As always, he only stopped when he felt like he would pass out, the world turning and his body screaming for him to stop. He showered and while walking into the bathroom his vision went blank for a few seconds, something he was used to by now as this was something he would do every day.

Until his grandma would call him for dinner he revised what he did in school.

It wasn't like he had fun doing it and he wasn't doing it for the grades. Well, part of him did but the main reason for him being so diligent was that he had to occupy himself.

If he was doing nothing, his thoughts would go back to that day, the day when his parents died, and he would start crying again. Or he would think of happy moments he had with his parents, but they would make him sad as well, he would miss his parents too much.

When his grandma finally called him, he went down into the kitchen and got out two plates, forks and knives. Then he got two glasses and water. Occasionally his grandma would ask him to help her cook or leave the house - which meant he would eat nothing but don't tell her - but most of the time she made dinner. And she did it well, she loved cooking. The food your grandma makes is always the best.

Changbin really thought her food was tasty. He just didn't like to eat much because he had no appetite most of the time.

When they first started living together she would cook much and make him eat it all. Back then Changbin was disgusted by food, not wanting anything, so sometimes he would vomit it out after. Other times he would just refuse to eat.

He had to go to a therapist, but it didn't help.

When he started eating again, he began to overeat. At first his grandma just thought he would like to eat much and thought that was a good thing. When he gained too much weight than normal, and his mental condition worsened he had to go to a therapist again.

The last time he went to a therapist was about half a year ago due to excessive self-harming. He had been to about ten different professionals by then, almost everyone not really helping him. The problem was not even that they did not know what the problem was.

It was that they knew what it was. And that, considering he had lost his parents in such a brutal, tragic way, his behaviour was understandable to a certain degree.

After all, how can you fix a broken heart?

It's not something you can sew together again that easily.

Especially not if it was like that, shattered into thousand little pieces of glass. Because that's what hearts are made of: fragile glass that breaks easily while the shards cut people trying to put it back together, making them hurt as well, not wanting to put it back together anymore after getting hurt themselves.

But sometimes, there may be a person who would not care about getting hurt.

A person that would try. Again, and again. Putting band aid over the cuts the glass shards caused. Collecting them all and put them back together, piece by piece. A person that would not stop until they had succeeded.

Maybe that person lived about two or three streets away, sitting on his chair, watching YouTube videos while wearing a bright green sweater, his hands in their blonde hair.

Maybe he would look at their English homework, thinking of what happened today and smile as brightly as ever. Thinking about how he actually did make Changbin smile and wondering if he would help him out with his homework tomorrow again.

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Okay but like Changbin is... fire.... I hope I'm not the only one. He's my bias... so like... I think this chapter made it obvious. Who's your bias in Stray Kids?

Also I see a lot of chanlix shippers and woochan shippers. I see where they are coming from but like changlix is OTP haha. Lately I've also noticed Hyunjin and Felix being touchy af and I think it's very cute... might be in my top3 SK ship. 

But like tbh Felix probably ships himself with everybody (especially changbin) so.... YEAH. 

I gotta wake up in 5,5h and go to school and I am so (not) excited... haha... help... Love you guys and hope you are alright and fine, don't forget to sleep, eat, wear warm clothing especially people from the usa and stan stray kids :P <3