11•29•2016
One can only begin to empathize to feel a fraction of what I feel...
How many times I fought myself from trying to befriend you again.
Telling myself you'd hurt me more if I came back so I just stayed out: Convincing and persuading myself to not get close again, but still forgiving, because I didn't want to hate you.
To try and see the positive light I had seen in you when we got along. Afraid of getting close again, because I finally had a friend that understood what I went through and I didn't want to lose another friend to a "what if"...
No matter how upset I get, I cannot change any past event and I cannot force any future event to go my way. So as each day went on and on I kept thinking... And thinking. Maybe we can talk again, we did relate and understand each other better than anyone ever had with me before, but I cannot seem to forget the crushing moment I let everything cave in and I told myself to keep you out for good.
The day I lost all positivity I had defended to others about you, because all I ever wanted was a friend.
Be a friend and have a friend.
Actually be loved by someone and know for certain I wouldn't be stabbed in the back, but we can never trust people with that much authority over us.
Yet I continuously allow it because I trust in them so much.
Only be shattered in mere seconds, because I was never good enough.
You can tell me the worst thing that could break my heart and I'd still forgive you,
yet knowing that, you still keep it from me.
You know my contradiction of why I avoid certain people because of our standing with them and yet I'm here.
Left alone again.
- All I wanted was a friend...
YOU ARE READING
Hugs & Kisses
PoetryLife is as magical as it can be for me, until I met "HIM" He had jumbled my thoughts, priorities, and self worth. He had made me feel so small in this world, when I wasn't. We all have met someone like him... And I hope those who have not, never do...
