You guys, looking back, posting this was a huge mistake. I never meant to attack anybody. I never meant to call anyone out. This wasn't even for one person, but for many, many people that I noticed or met over the course of my stay here. I just...I love people. Inherently, I mean. And I hate to see them so upset all the time. I'm sorry.
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I might not. I still hold Wattpad very dearly since it was the first platform I posted art on, and WA because I met so many amazing people, but..
I've been considering leaving. Wattpad, Warriors Amino, the whole bit. Because there are things I see here that I just hate to see.
Every day one of my friends AT LEAST updates a story or puts up a post about venting or depression or how much everyone hates them or how much they hate everyone, either here or an WA. And I don't blame them. Life seriously sucks, especially for people around my age when the schoolwork increases but social circles just get more complicated.
But it hurts me a lot to see those.
And I'm not saying people should stop if posting those kinds of things helps them, not at all. Of all the things you could do, that's definitely one of the less destructive ones. But you have to realize that, when you do that, you're calling out for help. And, in the past, almost without fail, I'd always comment or PM them or do something in an attempt to help, but..
If you're going to call out for help like that, then you have to be ready to let somebody help you.
I'm awkward.
I'm stupid.
I'm horrible with words.
And I'm no longer anyone's favorite person to come across during dark times, or any times at all.
But I'm trying to help you.
People I once held very dearly, great friends, best friends, now loathe the sight of my comments or any efforts to support them. I can't talk to them anymore because I don't want to back them into a corner. And it's gotten to the point where I lie awake at night worrying for other people who don't give a damn about me anymore.
..You know who you are.
I wish you'd stop ignoring me, all of you.
I don't need a reply. I'm used to it. It's fucking impossible to reply to supportive comments, I've been there, I get it.
But it doesn't really matter what you think of me, because I'll never think of you as any less of the friend you once were.
..I miss you. And I'm sorry I couldn't be a better friend to you. And I'm sorry that I scare you. And I'm sorry that you feel that you can't talk to me. And I'm sorry that you have to vent about me to other people. And I'm sorry I couldn't change for you. And I'm sorry you feel to have to lie to me. And I'm sorry I wasn't listening close enough. And I'm sorry that you'd rather be alone than talk to me. And I'm sorry that I miss you.
Please get better. With or without my help.
..I don't know if I'll leave. We'll have to see.
Please don't be offended by this if it applies to you. I'm not trying to bash your venting methods or your feelings, I'm just..frustrated.
But I worry about all of you, so do please try to get better ❤️
