forty : final chapter

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─── few years later.

what happened to us? we were so in love, back then. we promised not to leave each other, whatever happens. but in the end, like some fools, we betrayed that promise.

what's wrong with us? is it because we were so young back then? we thought we got it all figured out. but actually.. we not.

how are you now, hani? are you doing good?

do you think of me sometimes?

this might sounds pathetic, but you never left my mind since the day you moved out. not even second.

are you sleeping well? how about your insomnia, do you take medicines well?

honestly i'm very curious about you right now. i want to know everything about you. i tried calling hundred times but you changed your number. i wanted to ask around, but i didn't.

i should've asked. but i didn't. its not that i'm ego but─

do you even know how much it hurts to say that "hani? oh, we broke up."

it hurts me just to think about it. the fact that we broke up like that─ shouting to each other's face. why were we like that?

years without seeing you, i go through every day like my life is some hell and now suddenly you're in front of me.

is this real?

seol hani, the woman i love, is standing in front of me with a korean army uniform? by that expression i know you're as surprised as me.

"hani,"

its been years since i've seen you

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its been years since i've seen you.

such a long time ; but you're still hot. with that round glasses, and a long white coat, thick styled hair, fairer skin. you even joke around with the other doctors. your eye smile that i like the most ; that's the only thing i can see across the room.

namjoon, are you happy?

i guess you're doing well without me. i should be happy that you take a good care of yourself since we broke up but deep down, why i hate it?

i hate that i'm the only one who is miserable after that fight.

look at me, leaving my musical career and go to military school── only, just to forget you. while you pursued your dream as a doctor.

damn, i'm pathetic as fuck.

"hani," i heard you called me.

that voice.
i never realized how much i miss that until i heard it again, saying my name today.

i want to say something. but the look in your eyes stopped me. its the same, lovely gaze from years ago. those eyes ; i fell in love with that.

the closer you come to me, i can smell the faint smell of your perfume. its a different smell from the one that i used to buy for you.

so you moved on, completely.

"hani, i never thought─"

"i need a medical team at the east side of the camp base. three people injured from the collapsed building." i look at you, i notice your expression changed. i'm sorry, namjoon.

you was about to say something but i cuts you off. "be quick,"

"yes, ma'am."

i walk out of the medical space and quickly go inside the army truck. alone.

fuck. i cried again.


   





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