The one that almost got away

Chapter 13

     Over the week of Kendall being hospitalized, I had come to realize that she was going to come out of there super depressed and angry. I didn't know exactly how to help her, but I promised myself I would never give up trying. 

     Today was Monday, Kendall has been in the hospital for a week and three days, I thought that before I went and spent time with her in the hospital I would stop by the store and get a few things to keep her entertained. So, I grabbed some card games, and a few snacks hopefully they would let her eat. She always looked so sad, the nurses had to coax her out of her bed to do her exercises, and when she did get out,  it was like walking on egg shells. She was broken. 

  That thought made me shiver, she deserved to be  playing her senior year. The thought of her being broken inside made me want to cry.

   I  turned off my car, and sat for a minute looking at the hospital entrance. There was so many sad things going on in there, Kendall's story included. But I was going to make her story happy, whatever she wanted as long as she was happy, I would be happy. 

   ...

  I knock on the hospital door that I had become so familiar with, by now it felt like walking to my own room. Every day it was like a routine, I would go to school, come home shower get something to eat and then bring my stuff to the hospital so I could still keep up on my homework, but spend time with Kendall as well. 

 She hasn't ever said it, but I know she likes the company besides her parents. Sure she was a bit moody here and there, but I couldn't help but understand. Most of the time though, she was just quiet, or she slept.  And, I like watching her sleep, it's one of the only times the the creases of pain disappear from her face. 

  When I hear the quiet voice of Kendall I twist the knob, and walk through. She is sitting in her bed as usual, propped up on a pillow. Her remote is in her right hand, and in her left was a sprite. I frowned, Kendall would never be caught dead drinking a soda. 

  She sipped on her drink, and flipped through the channels aimlessly. So I walked to the chair next to her bed, sitting next to her. I smiled and ran my hand over her right hand, stopping when I saw that she had on rubber hand cuffs that were chained to the bedside. My smile instantly went away, I looked around the room wondering if there were any ears to hear this conversation that was about to happen. But the room had only me, and her.

  " What happened?" I pointed to her wrists, and with my hand I gently turned her face towards me. she yanked away, wincing at pain some where in her body. 

" Nothing, they are just worried tha-"

" Kendall." her eyes snapped to mine, anger briefly flowed through them, then sorrow. 

" They caught me trying to end my own life." she cast her gaze down to her hands, too ashamed to look me in the eyes. I sucked in a deep breath ignoring how much it hurt me to see her like this. 

 " Why?" is all I could muster. 

" Because, whats the point of living when you can't even do things that you love to do? I don't want to be here anymore Lincoln... I'm pretty sure no one does." she looks at me with tears in her eyes, she wipes them away, " I can't even go to the bathroom by myself."

I sit in silence, not because I want her to have alone time. She gets plenty of that, but because I honestly don't know what to say to that. I can't imagine how much this must hurt. 

" Kendall." I brush the tear that had just escaped her eye away, " Kendall look at me please," she sniffed, rubbing her eyes with her unbound hand. She looked at me her lip trembled reminding me of the day of the crash, when I saw her dad do the same thing. I hadn't realized how much they look alike. Kendall had her mothers eyes and her nose, but everything else was her father. " I want you here." 

   Kendall sobbed, then slapped her hand over her mouth like she couldn't believe what had just escaped her body. " Your family does want you here, if they didn't they wouldn't be here with you every step of the way. But Kendall I promise if they weren't here for you, I still would be. Because honestly Kendall, I believe you can walk again. I believe you could play soccer if you wanted to, there is nothing you can't do." 

Kendall frowned, then shook her head, " The doctor said it was impossible, she said the most that I would be able to do is wiggle my toes... And that's in the far future. I would never be able to play soccer again, let alone walk."  

 I offered her a small smile, but she didn't return it, my lips pressed into a thin line not knowing how to convince her to stay positive about this. " I believe in you." I said, then I got up, and kissed her on the cheek.

 " Where are you going?" she looked at me in confusion.

" I think you need to be left alone for a while, i'll be back in a couple hours and you can tell me if you think it's still gonna be impossible for you to get back" She blinked once, then twice, then three times. But, she never said anything else, so I turned and walked out of the room.