withered || jikook [discontinued]

two.

♢♢♢

"Hyung! Come on, let's go!"

I heard your voice calling for me. I felt your hand holding mine, our fingers intertwined. You looked at me with that cute bunny smile that I loved so much. I could see the twinkle of excitement in your dark eyes as you kept tugging on my hand. Your hair dancing along with the sea breeze blowing towards a direction no one knows. The salty scent of the sea filled my nostrils and the crashing of waves accompanied by your joyous laughs were melody to my ears. You looked at me again with your doe eyes, with a lovely grin.

"Hyung, I l-"

Your voice started to fade. You let go of my hand and you were no longer smiling, the loving look in your orbs disappearing as well. You didn't even spare a glance at me as you turned around and walked away. You didn't even notice I was screaming your name.

I chased you, running fast with my hand outstretched. Yet I couldn't catch you. No matter how fast I run, the distance kept increasing.

You were then swallowed by the dull skies. Not even a trace of you was left. I cried. I screamed. I shouted. I begged for you to come back.

Please...

Come back to my arms, Jungkook-ah...

---

The sound of my alarm beeping woke me up from the sleep I really needed. I grumbled as I reached out to turn the damned thing off and sighing when the sounds died down. I sat up groggily and rubbed my eyes before looking at the device beside my bed that woke me from my rest.

To my dismay, I realized I set the alarm to ring at the wrong time as the screen showed 5.45 a.m. instead of 7.45 a.m. It didn't took a while for me to flop back to the bed and burry myself under the blankets once again.

I ended up staring at the white ceiling, letting my mind trail off to last night's dream. It was like a memory from long ago when Jungkook dragged me to the beach during sunset since he said that it was a sight I shouldn't miss. I remembered how happy I was when he held me in his strong arms, how my worries were washed away along with the waves, how my heart was beating eradicaly when he whispered those sweet, sweet words.

Without realizing, a small smile managed to made its way to my lips while a single tear escaped my eye and dropped to the pillow. The sound of the liquid hitting the pillow was quiet yet I managed to catch the sound and immediately stopped my thoughts.

No, Jimin, stop thinking about him. You're supposed to move on! I mentally scolded myself, wiping the wet trail near my eye. I shut my eyes again in hopes to fall back to sleep but in an instant, the sleepiness that once washed over me was just gone.

I groaned and knew that I had no choice to get up. And so I did. Reluctantly and lazily.

I was about to take a shower when suddenly the idea of taking a morning walk struck me. I didn't know why but it just seemed to be a good idea since I hadn't been exercising a lot due to college and work. I changed into a track suit and grabbed my phone along with my earphones before going out of my messy apartment and locking the door.

Stepping out from the building was a great sensation; the cold yet gentle morning breeze blew past me, and the air felt fresher that it usually was. A smile made its way to my lips as I stood there for a good 10 seconds, enjoying the gust of wind. I connected the earphones into my phone and plugged the buds into my ears then started walking.

---

I ended up jogging for an hour and before I knew it, I had somewhat collapsed onto a bench on the park around the corner. My chest rose and fell as I tried to regain my breath, eyes closed so that the spinning world wouldn't make me sick.

It was stupid of me to just go for a jog and thought hey, I'm sure I'll be fine although I hadn't done this for a while. My lungs weren't ready for it and I ended up getting dizzy due to lack of oxygen.

Once I felt better, I sat back up and checked my phone, the lock screen showing 6.57 a.m. before my eyes flickered to the date below the numbers. And I swore my heart stopped upon seeing today's date.

September 1st.

Today is his birthday.

My breath hitched as I swallowed the lump in my throat. The pain that I thought was long gone came back, and I could feel myself breaking into pieces again.

Pieces that I once tried to glue back together. Yet crumbled away along with my past relationship with him. Before I knew it, I felt my cheeks getting wet.

"Ah... it's raining again", I mumbled to myself as I look up towards the clear skies with a broken smile.

I thought that maybe after all this time, I could fix myself even though it still hurt to think of him. But how could you fix something that was already broken in the first place?

With a shaky breath, I locked my phone and stood up, wiping away my tears with my sleeves. I knew that I could break again anytime soon, and I wouldn't allow myself to show that side of me to the world. So I ran back home.

Once I reached my apartment, I didn't even bother closing the door as I headed into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I simply stood under the cold, icy water with my clothes still on but not even giving a damn. Yet, I felt nothing.

Nothing at all.

I stared blankly at the wall, feeling the same pain slowly crawling back into my chest. And it was then and there that I fell to my knees, covering my mouth as I sobbed loudly. Everything that I had been trying to forget came flooding back into my mind.

His touch,

his hair,

his eyes,

his smile,

his voice,

his long gone love for me.

♢♢♢