Letting Go

chapter 1

I'm about to tell you the story of my life ,  more specifically , why  I took my own life away. My name is Brandon Thomas. I was 17 years old about to be 18 and I was a senior in highschool.

I had the perfect best friend and family so the confusing part is , why did I do it?

Well  I'm not going to tell you a lot now about what happens or why I did it you're just going to have to read so let me just start from when it all started ... Exactly one year ago.

One morning , I finished getting dressed . I put on a fake smile and walked down the stairs to where my family is. You may be confused on why I am putting on a fake smile , well , it’s because I can’t be who I want to be around them.

It's like i'm living a lie around my family,  don't get me wrong I love my family they are the best.

But Have you ever felt that way?

Like you can't be who you want to be around your own family because they would judge you or not accept you?

Well that is how I feel.

The reason why I feel that way is because  I’m gay, and my parents are these big Christians .

They don’t accept gay people.They made it very clear to me and my sister a couple years ago.

My parents grew up in a small town where if someone was homosexual they would beat that person  till they don't remember who they are anymore .

If anyone did something bad or against the rules they got punished or banished It’s really cruel but that was how they grew up. So that’s how they still think.  

So basically my parents will not beat us obviously  but they did make it very clear that  we can not be homosexual or they would kick us out and won’t talk to us ever because it’s a sin to be homosexual even though my parents don't live in that small town anymore and rules have changed a lot now days that will always be there rule .

So you see where I’m stuck ,  you see why I feel like I live a lie.No one should ever feel how I feel.

  I have this best friend though  her name is gabby and basically, we have known eachother since we were babies.

Our parents have always shipped us together , always wanted us to be together.

My best friend knows that I’m gay and she has been helping me out.

9 months ago is the day my parents think me and best friend gabby made it official .

Don’t worry we aren’t actually dating she is just helping me.People at school are starting to figure out that I’m gay.

They would make fun of me , and I of course ,  deny it because I don’t want anyone to know that I am .

I’ve been having a hard time with school also this jock named Jacob picks on me the worse he trips me , pushes me, makes comments that are insulting  , and one time they stole my clothes when I was using the gym shower after football practice and I didn’t have no clothes I had to put my stinky gym clothes back on.

Another thing they did was write fag all over my locker. By  ‘’them’’ I mean him and the whole football team .

I can’t go to my parents for help about

being gay or being bullied at school

because if I tell my parents I’m being

bullied they will ask why , and I would