Letting Go

chapter 2

We head to our lockers which are next to each other .

As we get closer I see red big letters all over my locker and people walking by laughing and taking pictures.

So me and gabby go to see what it says this time and in big words sprayed across my locker is  FAGGOT...

Not again

‘’those jerks! Who do they think they are!’’ gabby says and kicks the locker  and the bell rings signaling that it’s time for class.

‘’ It’s okay I'll clean it up you go to class without me’’I say and she looks at me sympathetic

‘’you sure’’ she says a bit unsure

‘’yea just go I'll be fine ‘’ I tell her.

She nods her head and opens her locker. Gets her book for her next class and turns around to me

‘’I love you best friend’’ she says and hugs me.

I hug her back tight . After she leaves I go to the janitor's closet to get stuff to  clean my locker .

As I am on my way back I see my dad looking at my locker shaking his head …

my heart stops

oh no..

i walk slowly up to him

‘’hey dad’’ I say and he turns to look at me and I smile nervously

‘’ what’s this all about?’’he asks while pointing to my locker

‘’ well you see the team wanted to pull a prank on a kid and they thought this was his locker but it was mine it was a mistake’’I say hoping he would buy what I'm saying he seemed to buy it

‘’ oh I see alright well I got to go but I'll see you before the game alright’’ he says and leaves before I could reply to him.

I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and start to clean my locker when I heard laughing coming from around the corner.

Oh no.

I know that laugh from anywhere It's jacob . great. As I'm about to make a run for it I hear

‘’well well well if it isn't gay boy himself ‘’I hear jacob yells out and his friends laugh

‘’you like what we left you’’ they all start laughing throwing insults at me

 ‘’ how many time did I have to tell you I'm not gay’’ I say and they all start laughing

‘’dude anyone can see from like a mile away that you're gay you know that right’’ jacob's friend says and they all start to laugh

I can feel my eyes water but I will not let them see me cry ever!

‘’ go mess with someone else man’’ I tell jacob and he smirks

‘’And what's the fun in that ‘’ he says and I glare at him

‘’look all I want to say , is don't play in this game. I mean there's no point .We won't pass the ball to you anyways and a matter of fact how about you quit all together.No one likes faggot little boys around it makes everyone feel uncomfortable. “ jacob says and laughs

“yea i don't want to have worry about you checking me out in the locker room anymore ‘’ his friend says and laughs

“so yeah quit or I will make your live 10 times worse like for a example tell your parents your gay’’ jacob says and I have to swallow hard I can't talk or I’ll cry.

So I just nod and jacob and his friends laugh

‘’bye loser ‘’ jacob says and his friends laugh

‘’ oh look hes going to cry ‘’ one guy says while laughing and they all walk away laughing.

              
Once I see they are finally gone I lean my back against my locker and start to cry.

I used to tell myself that I'm stronger and that I can't let what they say affect me but it does hurt me it does bother me.

It bothers me a lot. I hate how they don't even know me and they make fun of me pick on me.

What do they get out of it. Sometimes I ask myself why am I even here no one even cares about me any ways .

Sometimes I think that my best friend and my family would be better off without me .

I wipe my tears and stand up and start to finish cleaning the writing on my locker .

I start to think about what jacob says .

Maybe I should quit the football team and stop trying to impress my father .

He's more interested in jacob anyways .

After I finish my locker I already missed half of first so I just decide to go talk to my dad about quitting .

I head to his office and knock on his door

‘’come in!’’ i hear him yell

well here it goes

I reach for the doorknob.

My heart is racing so fast I feel like it will jump out any second .

I twist the door knob very slowly and take a deep breath and open the door and walk in

‘’hey dad’’ I say and he looks up from his computer

‘’ hey son what are you doing here ‘’ he asks and I take another deep breath and sit down

‘’I need to talk to you’’ I tell him

you see the reason why I’m so nervous to tell him is because when I first told him I was joining the football team he was so excited, he was proud of me.

I liked that he was proud of me.

I don't want to disappoint him you know?

’’ alright well let's hear it what do you want to talk about?’’ he asks me and shuts his computer lid and takes his glasses off

‘’ It's about football’’ I say and he nods and looks at me to continue

‘’ well I've been thinking and I think I should quit I want to-’’ I was cut off by my dad slamming his fist on his table

‘’NO! You will not quit this team we are having our first game and you want to quit!your kidding right!this is a joke right ‘’ he says I have never seen him this angry before

 ‘’ no I'm not kidding dad I really want to quit I think it's for the best I need to focus on school’’ I say to him afraid to look up at him

‘’ no no!you are not leaving this team and that's final! I don't know why you just decided this after playing on the team for 3 years but you are not quitting you hear me you are going to play a kickass game today whether you like it or not and THAT IS FINAL now get out and go to class’’ my dad says angrily and I nod my head and as I get up and walk out the office the bell rings signalling It’s next period