Letting Go

chapter 6

Now you know my story and why I took my own life.

you guys are probably wondering what happens next.

After I wouldn't open the door for Ms. Bettsy she called my father

he came barging in and broke down the door to find me dead

it was too late they were too late.

You see I thought I was doing this for their benefit i thought I was helping them.

But I was wrong

I was so wrong.

My dad called 911 and they took me away and my dad found my letters he read mine and cried.

he cried.

If you ask me if I regret killing myself the answer is yes because I didn't just hurt myself I  hurt my parents my sister family friends and I gave people the wrong message .

When my mom heard she broke down she quit her job she never leaves my room she stares at my pictures

my dad well he quit teaching football he would just stare off into space.

My sister she cries at night haunted about her brother dying.

It turns out that my parents would have understood me and  they would have accepted me but it's too late now.

I caused the pain that my parents have to hold on their shoulders.

Gabby she handled my death a little different she organized a group thing were if you feel depressed and you can't talk to anyone and you want it to stay with just that person to go to her she wanted my story to get out to everyone to help people.

And jacob well after he heard what happened he dropped out of school and he blames himself but now he doesn't judge people or bully them and get this he goes to my grave every year and apologizes over and over again .

I wish I didn't kill myself there were a lot of better ways to handle my situation there are groups, therapist, and did you know there is this gay/ lesbian group were they accept you for who you are and accept you and love you .

Instead of helping my parents and friends I hurt them and if I could I would take it back I wouldn't have killed myself.

So whoever is reading my story and you feel like how i felt don't kill yourself.

I WANT YOU TO LIVE.

There are many people out here today who can help so if you feel alone or have these thoughts as I did just know there are people who can help.

There's so much to live for.

Your not a waste of space.

Your not a abomination

You are not ugly or a fag.

EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL IN THEIR OWN WAY.

NEVER CHOSE SUICIDE AS A OPTION.

Even if you feel like everyone is a against you and you think everyone would be better off without you.

Your WRONG

So stay positive and stay brave.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!