things i can't (l.s)

Chapter 3

Louis' POV:

As much as I didn't want to leave Harry, I decided it would be better that I did. I really wanted him to like me and I didn't want to annoy him by continuing to try and make small talk when it was evident that A.) He didn't look like he wanted company and B.) He didn't really know how exactly to make small talk. I bid Harry goodbye and before I gave him the chance to either answer or ignore me, I walked back inside. I didn't really know what to do considering the fact that I only wanted to be in Harry's company and I didn't want to go to the cafeteria. But eventually, I decided the cafeteria would be better than roaming the halls like an idiot. I strolled in, trying to be as confident as any new student could be, and looked around for somewhere to sit. Then, as if almost on cue, a dark haired boy with what looked like a blonde stripe in the quiff of it, called me over.

"Aye, Tomlinson, come over here!"

I knew it was better to have more friends than enemies, so walked over to the group the raven haired boy called me over from.

"What's up man, the name is Zayn," the kid said, putting his hand out.

"Louis," I stated genuinely. He didn't seem bad at all.

Harry's POV:

I was still sat where I was when Louis came out and I was trying to process what the fuck just happened.

"What the fuck," I spoke aloud.

I didn't know whether to be pissed or frightened that someone knew of my hiding spot I had had since freshman year, or if I should be glad that someone actually talked to me. When he asked what my name was, I was in total shock. No one has ever cared enough to ask what my name was. I hope I didn't make that too obvious. But I was so confused and nervous and... Happy? Happy that someone had cared and happy that it was him. I mean everyone made me nervous, especially Zayn but Louis... Louis made me feel an entirely different nervousness. Well, after I knew that he wasn't gonna try and beat me up, that is. The nervousness that built up inside of me after he gave me a genuine smile, was utterly different and almost beautiful.

I really hoped he was in another class of mine.

Who am I kidding? I thought to myself longer and remembered the fact that nobody will ever like me. How could I have let myself think even for one second that Louis would pay any more attention to me than the previous encounter? He probably went back inside because he realised that he was talking to a worthless piece of shit. He probably thinks of me the same exact way that everybody else does; worthless, fat, ugly, stupid, and a faggot. It was all true. I was worthless, fat, ugly, and stupid. And I definitely was gay- I'd known that since I was 12 and that's why Robin left. And he wasn't even my dad- he was my step dad and he still felt responsible for it. My mom probably hates me. That's probably why she hasn't noticed anything changing about me. Not the purple bags circling my eyes, the weight, the cuts or scars, the bruises, or the pain- the fucking pain in my eyes that never escapes. She probably is just waiting for me to move out so she can just tell people she doesn't have a son.

Maybe she won't in a matter of time.

*bell rings*

Back to class. Can't wait.