things i can't (l.s)

Chapter 9

Harry's POV:

I sprint inside my house.

Fuck. Why did I have to mention Zayn and what he did? I should have just kept my mouth shut and just hated Louis in my own head. But no, I had to go and mention what Louis already knew. I mean, he knows right? If he's Zayn's friend, then there's no way he doesn't know. Fuck, why did I have to be such a fuck up?

My own voice clouds my thoughts and tells me what it always does when something goes wrong,

Go cut, Harry. You know you want to. Louis doesn't like you and he never will. Go numb the pain. Numb the pain of the fact that you'll never be loved by anyone. Forget Louis, forget Zayn. Forget it all. Go take that blade and press it into your skin.

I run upstairs and before I know it, my hands grab the box of blades. Then, all of a sudden, I hear someone inside my house.

"Harry? Harry, I know you're up here somewhere. Don't think I am a crazy person for coming into your house uninvited, but I really need to talk to you. Come out, will you?" The voice belongs to Louis.

I hear him come in my room and the blade is still in my hand and there is no way I can put it back in the box in time. He enters my room and looks at me with my hands behind my back.

"Harry, I need to talk to you. Why did you treat me badly at the gas station and why aren't you answering any of my questions? What did Zayn do? And why do you think I'm friends with him? He's a terrible person and I know that."

He notices my hands behind my back and my nervous and distracted aura.

"Harry, are you even listening to me? What are you doing?" He says, gesturing to my arms behind my back.

I tuck the blade in my pants and say a simple, "nothing."

Then I try and process the inquiries Louis had just presented to me.

He's not friends with Zayn? Why is he here? No one has ever come to my house just because I was upset.

"Y-you're not friends w-with Z-Zayn?" I ask, almost pouting.

"No, Harry. If I was, I wouldn't be here with you. I only came because I care about you. Shit, I know I've known you for two days but I can't get you out of my head. Just let me be your friend. Please."

He can't get me out of his head? Is he crazy? Is he blind?

Should I trust him?

"Y-you want to be m-my friend?" I ask, shaking.

"Yes, for fucks sake. Why else would I have run after you?" He said boldly.

"I-I don't know. I've never been run after... in a good way." I said the last part so Louis wouldn't hear.

~

Louis left my house shortly after our little incident and I was so extremely perplexed, I didn't know what to do with myself. Louis said he cared about me. About me. I've never had someone say that, besides my mom. Maybe I could trust him. Maybe I could be friends with him- it would take some time to get used to having a real friend, but I really needed one. And especially if it was him.

Louis' POV:

I left Harry's, but not without his number. Yeah, I asked Harry for his number. He was hesitant, he really seems anxious a lot. He stutters (which I find extremely adorable), he seems secretive, and he seems like he has no friends. Maybe Zayn as right about the whole thing about nobody liking him. I felt so sorry for Harry, I wanted to cry. I mean, how could anybody dislike someone like Harry? He's adorable, gentle, quiet, keeps to himself- what's the thing people are missing? I, for one, want to get to know him better.

I want to make him mine.

I can't keep pushing these thoughts back- I'd have to tell him sooner or later. There's just this... feeling I get when I'm around him, no matter what mood he's particularly in. He makes me feel protective and like I need to be with him, no matter if it's romantic or just platonic. I just know in my heart that I need him just as much as I know he needs me.

With that, I decide to text the curly haired boy.

From Louis: "Hey. Glad we had that talk today. Made me feel a lot better. X"

*Fifteen minutes later*

From "Haz": "Me too, I'm glad you're not friends with Zayn. I hope we can get to know each other better, Lou."

"Lou." One simple nick-name from Harry and I was already squealing like a little girl.

I reply in an instant.

From Louis: "'Lou'- what a cute nickname, Haz."

I'd already given him a nickname without him knowing.

*five minutes pass*

From Haz: "'Haz' is pretty cute too."

From Lou: "You're pretty cute." I hoped I wasn't being too forward, especially because I never mentioned I was gay. Was he even gay? Oh, god I hoped I didn't just fuck up big time.

*thirty minutes pass*

Still no response from Harry. Uh oh.

~

From Lou: "You're pretty cute."

Ohmygod. Lou thinks I'm cute! He thinks I'm cute! Oh fuck, what do I say back? Is he just being funny? He isn't gay, he can't be gay, right? Ohmygod what if he's gay? I try and think of what to say back. Next thing I know, thirty minutes have gone by and I haven't responded. I realize this and type back.

From Harry: "If only you knew what I thought about you, Lou..."

I press send in a hurry, not wanting to change my mind. I really hope he doesn't think I'm crazy.

I really want him to be mine.

~

Author's note: Sorry this chapter sucked big time, I'm extremely tired from hiking all day. I just wanted to get something out there for the few of you that are reading this little story of mine. (Thank you, by the way.) But I hope you loved the fact that Harry has finally accepted Lou and also the cutsieness going on! ;)

Please keep reading, commenting, and voting, it's super lovely to see feedback from you all. I hope you guys have a good rest of your day.

All the love,

Ash. X