things i can't (l.s)

Chapter 2

Harry's POV:

All I could think about while walking to class was Zayn- was he going to harass me again today or was today a day where I could finally get a break? Zayn rarely took breaks from the simple pleasure that was making me feel small. Metaphorically, that is. I wish I was physically small. Instead all I've got is fat, fat, fat.

I made my way into class and sat at the desk that I normally do; at the back, and as far away from Zayn as I could possibly get. Most of the time I get past his desk if he's already sitting there, considering he sits a few rows back from the front. Other times though, I don't even make it into class. He'll grab me and take me into the hallway when the teachers have already shut their doors and hit me a few times. Most of the time, after he hits me to the point where I can't get up, he'll just walk right into class and leave me there. And the times when he doesn't walk away is when we have a sub and he can drag me into class himself and make the entire class look at what he's done to me. They all laugh. No one had ever offered to help or stand up against him for me. I wonder if they're just afraid of Zayn, or if they truly just enjoy watching my limp body be thrown into my seat by Zayn after he has punished me. I don't even call what he does "beating" anymore, I call it a punishment. It's like I feel like I need to be punished for the fact that I am a fat cow. God I really need to lose weight.

I made it to my seat but there was something different. I felt like I could feel someone's eyes on me so I turn to the empty desk next to me to find that it was no longer empty. It was in fact very occupied. I looked at the person sitting in the seat only to be enveloped in a sea of blue orbs. I looked down to see cheekbones, high as the Eiffel Tower, and lips as rosy as I felt my cheeks were. It was a boy. And wow, he was beautiful. His eyes locked with mine and I saw his lips curve slightly into a small smile. I was abruptly snapped away from the trance I had fallen into when I heard Mr. Brooklyn's voice.

"Hello class, happy Friday to all of you. Before we continue our lesson on Huckleberry Finn- yes, I know you all are jumping out of your seats with excitement- I'd like to introduce you to our new student from Doncaster, Mr. Louis Tomlinson."

I looked back over at the boy who seemed to be smiling nervously at the class as they all turned around to see exactly who he was. Some of them gave him gentle hello's, while others gave him waves or other hand gestures to welcome him. How did he do it so easily? I mean no one has ever acknowledged me, let alone say hi. He caught my obvious stare and when he turned his head around to face me again, I quickly turned my head and tried to keep my eyes on Mr. Brooklyn the remainder of the period. God, it was so hard. All I wanted to do was look at Louis again and take in his beauty and-

*bell rings*

Shit. Time for lunch. I'm glad though, all I do at lunch is sit outside by the gym and have a smoke or two. It curbs my appetite and God knows I need that. I can't afford to eat anything with my fat ass legs and arms and chest and stomach and face and everything. Fuck, it is so difficult being trapped in a body that you loathe with all your heart. Just as I lit my first cigarette, I heard the door to the outside open.

Please, please, please, don't let it be Zayn. He can't know where I come for lunch. This is my only safe part of school.

I looked up and cowered down, waiting for a blow to the face. But instead, I was met with the same blue ocean eyes as once before.

Louis' POV:

At my old school, barely anyone ate in the cafeteria so it was weird to go and try to pretend it was normal for me to sit there. So, I decided it would be a good idea to go and get some fresh air. I walked outside where the gym was and saw the small boy from class sitting on the ground.

God, he was beautiful. From the way that his chocolate curls bounced whenever he moved, to the emerald city that was colour of his eyes, he was so, so beautiful. He looked to be quite frail and had the skin tint of a ghost, yet he made it look so inviting.

I'd always thought I was probably bisexual, but I'd only ever had girlfriends. My old girlfriend, Danielle, was a sweetheart, but was honestly quite boring. She never excited me in the way that I wanted to be excited. The only thing she cared truly about was school and getting people to notice her. I don't care too much for that, but I guess I am a social person. But yeah, back to the bisexual thing- I always kinda knew I was attracted to guys to some degree. So it wasn't necessarily a surprise to me when I felt my cheeks heat up every time I was around this mystery boy.

I looked down at the boy who seemed to be utterly confused as to why I was here but he also looked extremely frightened. Why was he so nervous? To stop the tension that had been built over the last couple seconds, I thought I'd say something.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to catch you off guard," I laughed nervously.

The boy just looked me straight into the eyes and I saw them soften as soon as I said something. He stared back onto the pavement and took a drag of his cigarette.

"S'no problem," he said without looking up.

I didn't really know what else to say or do, but something inside of me knew that I didn't want to leave this boy. I didn't know of it was a protective kind of thing or of it was the fact that I just wanted to stay outside but I just knew I didn't want to leave.

The boy noticed that I was frozen in thought and looked back up at me once more and gave me a rather annoyed look. I don't think he was used to people talking to him or being around him and I definitely think that this spot outside is like his territory or something. I mean, no one else was out here and he got quite startled when I came outside. To ease the tension again, I spoke once more.

"So uh, what's your name?"

He gazed back up at me with eyes that looked as if they could swell up tears. I don't think anyone has ever cared enough to ask him even what his name was.

"It's Harry. Um, Harry Styles." He croaked out.

I smiled.

Harry Styles. How lovely.