We arrived home, I had forgotten what home looked like... being here made me suicidal as fuck. It reminded me of when me and Hunter started dating before the whole shit show at Warped. Warped has officially been cancelled because of me and I feel fucking terrible for the bands that love playing there.
I have school in a few days and I don't want to go, I know no one wants to ever go to school but I can defiantly say we all have our own views on school and mine are 10 times worse than all of yours combined.
"Nic! Come downstairs please!" Fuck off frank. I can't be arsed with a bullshitter right now. I'm going to do something I haven't done in a while, you guessed it. Fucking cut
I walk to my bathroom and pull out my box of blades, I slide it across both my wrists 5 times.. not enough to like seriously do harm.
"Nic!!" Frank yells once again " Hold on!!" I yell back in a threatening tone. Cleaning up and putting my jacket on I heard my door open. "Nic where the fuck are you?" Mikey questions "on the toilet" I reply. "Oh okay, come down when you're done" he leaves and I flush the toilet with bloody tissues in.
"There you are" dad says as I run downstairs "um.. we have some news..." dad continues, "hu-" he begins "hunter killed himself..." I finish his sentence not know what I just said, they all stand in silence wondering how the fuck I figured it out. "I could feel it, he over dosed didn't he?.." my eyes start tearing up
"Shit" my heart starts beating really fast, fuck. My surrounding were slowing down and my vision goes blurry. Shit. I start balling my eyes out sat on the stairs gripping my head tightly in my hands.
"Calm down" dad says "calm fucking down! My ex/best friend fucking killed himself! And you're telling me to calm down!" I'm shaking badly, I can't stand because I'm so weak. "Nic you need to sleep" frank sighs and picks me up "no, I'll just slit my wrists of you leave me alone" I reply "then I'll sit in your room with you until you calm down, no matter how long that takes"...
*next day*
I wake up and frank is still asleep sat on the chair in the corner of my room. I decide I needed a little make over..
My hair needs a trim... I take a blade and cut my hair just above shoulder length and I change my fringe up. New me...
