Outbursts

January 11

Since I can remember all I wanted was to be that person you see on Olimpic games.

Has a child you think it would be easy to be there. To be the best of the best. A true beast. To be a true champion. What you don't realise is what you have to give up to fight for the dream.
It's Been a few years since then and now that I have grow up I realised how hard it must be. All the pressure, the dedication, the sweat and the pain. The long hours working, the injuries, the doors you have to knock down so a small little window of opportunity can open. All the moments you have to put on hold so you can practise. All the parties you can't go because rest is your number one priority.

I've been involved in the atletics world since i was 11, then all we wanted to do was have fun with my team. I took running has a hobby and a way to get out of the house when things got a little to rough. It was my safe heaven.

I remember when I first started to run... I laugh about it now. I hated it... My legs burned I couldn't keep up with the rest of the team, and it always hurt, every single stride. I was the new girl an outcast.

I'm part of those lucky one. Who had members of the family involved in sports and didn't let me give in the first months. At the time I had friends (I don't actually have friend now. Ups) who supported me.

When I started high school I already had a bunch of regionals tittles in cross country and track. I was okay at running but we were a small team with small goals. We were so naive. I wouldn't take most of my practices seriously, I rather spent time joking with my friends. We were creating memories together they were my second family and i would walk trough fire for them. I'm still here for them and they are for me even though we aren't has close has we uses to be.

On 12 grade must of them gave up on competing and later on running has well. So I started to dedicate more of my efforts on racing. I believed i could be something so I started to draw some goals. You know when everything is starting to go right something forces to turn left?! Yeah... It started with a twisted foot. Two weeks off practice wasn't much and I was relieved, we were in January I still had plenty of time to get back in time for the cross country season. It was all fine if it all went according to the plan. The final goal would be the world's cross championship.

When the two weeks deal ended and i got back at racing I remember telling my coach "Mary my foot isn't right I still feel a slight pressure on my ankle. It hurts" and she would tell me " it's just your imagination, they gave you a green card. So you're good to go", "you're not hurting ice it and it will get better".

Three weeks later I was back at the same physiotherapy center. This time the recovery time was a month. I would miss the regionals but it was okay, I still could go to the nationals. I had time to practise.
They all said it was my fault. "You pushed to hard when you got back" "maybe you twisted it again". They all had their fair share of possibilities but not a single soul told me "maybe you should make exams, just so we know what's going on". Even my family put the blame on me, but lets be honest my family always blamed me for everything.

In March they told me it was okay to go back. And I trusted them. Thing went south At the cross country nationals. That year was in Guarda and has the year before I ended in 2° sub 20. Every step on that race hurt. Have stride was made with a hell lot of pain. But everyone who knows me, knows I don't give up. I had a goal on my mind and a important one.

On the drive back home I was in so much pain all I wanted to do was cry. It came to the point where my foot was so swollen I couldn't keep it in my snickers. Every bump in the road and me bitting my lips until they were bleeding.
That was the last race I made that season. After that we got back to the same "doctors". And they didn't know what I had. So I told them to F*** and went to the doctors. Something i should have done a long time ago. But my family wasn't swimming in money and i followed what my team told me to do. If you don't know our national health service is so shitty because everything is so slow. I only made the exames in May.
After the results came All the doctors could tell was that they suspected it was a ligaments rupture. The exames showed new tissue growth. My foot structure collapsed because the ligaments weren't there to keep them up. This type of things messes with your head. Always thinking about the what ifs, never knowing if the pain is real or just a fragment of you imagination. And let me tell you even today, it hurts.

In the begging of April, my team was racing and since I couldn't run so I went to watch. At the end, my Mary got us all together and she said
"Well the other day I was talking with the national coach and I have to tell you Mia, you were pre selected to go the China." I swear I almost died of heart pain that day. Knowing I could have had my first chance of running by my country in a worlds stage.

In the end I would never change what happened. It only made me stronger.

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