Outbursts

february 20

'

I think I have feelings for my friend? Can someone help me?

He is not the most gorgeous man, but he has this capability of making me feel peaceful, powerful. He makes me laugh and when we together we kind of gravitate toward each other. We connect in a level that I haven't connect with anyone before.

We are alike in a way that we are also very different. We share the same taste in music, we love the same sport, he loves the beach and he is not a peaky eater.

He's loyal, really proud (annoys the shit out of me sometimes), doesn't like when we poke into his business when he's not ready to share. He has done his fair share of partying (if you know what I mean) he's also really lazy in certain things. He is a hard headed. And so strong.

But... there is always a But. I've never seen him with his friends. I've never seen him with his parents. He has been sharing some stuff when we are together nevertheless nothing alongside this topics. I wish he did though. I wish he felt comfortable enough to use me as his support

Usually we are only together in the "running world". yes we've partied together, we've travelled together. I have seen him at his worst and at his best. He is kind and brave. I love him has a friend.

The thing is we have a vibe going on and people are starting to notice. Last weekend we had de Indoor NCP we are part of the same team.

He gave me His time to launch so I could eat first, even though he arrived 1 hour earlier. He carried my bag because he wanted to. He spent almost all his time with me. He waited to have breakfast with me. He was my ride or die this weekend and he had some running friends there too. And he still choose to spent most of his time with me. I know he did it because it's the away he his. He is like that.

Luna says he is extra nice to me. I actually don't believe her. I mean he is supposed to have a girlfriend. Am I just a substitute?

I'm so fucking confused.

I don't want to ruin this friendship.

I'm a bit overwhelmed. Luna kind of opened my eyes Sunday. It feels like I've been sleeping for a while and suddenly someone woke me up to life.

I don't want to go to sleep anymore. I don't want to lose even a fraction of all the colors he can bring to my life.

I want to explore more of this feeling with him. I want to explore life with him. I need him by my side. I don't care if he's present has my friend or has something else.

I want to be there to take care of him, to protect him from this shitty life. I want to sparkle his life a little bit. Making him laugh or just smile that pretty smile that makes his eyes squish.

You want to know what's funny? My family already loves him. They know him, they accept him and they love him. EVEN my twinno his is número uno fan. A while ago lexis actually said that he would be okay if I dated him I thought he was going a bit cucu on the head. Guess he just know his twin.

People what should I do????