Sleepwalking // xBayani [ON HOLD]

vii

I bat my eyes, immediately drawing my attention to the clock on the wall of my hospital room. I frown, 10:32. I look towards the window ― bright as could be. 10:32 a.m. My arm aches as I pull it up to reach my phone on the bedside table I’m given. I click it on.

 

10:32 a.m.

 

Friday, June 20th, 2014.

 

*Emily <3: Jordan… I can’t live a l…

 

I frantically swipe the screen and enter in my passcode. The Messenger app opens quickly.

 

Jordan… I can’t live a lie.

For the past two months,

I’ve been cheating on you.

I’m sorry, but I’m happy with

him. Happier than I was with

you… So… um… I’m sorry.     

Goodbye, Jordan.

 

I stare at the message for a good five minutes, re―reading it over and over again…

 

So what if I can’t forget you? I’d burn your name into my throat, I’ll be the fire that’ll catch you…

 

Why does she leave me feeling so empty? She wasn’t close to my everything; not in the slightest. But why do I feel so lost…?

 

Warm me up, and breathe me…

 

I decide that I need to literally breathe. My inhales are sharp, my exhales long. I squeeze my eyes shut bitterly, scowling with the thought of her.

 

“Mom…” I sigh as I hear the door open. But my mother doesn’t appear in my field of vision, Trevor does.

 

“Trevor, I told you to not come.”

 

“I couldn’t ‘not come,’ Jordan. You need someone here to support you.”

 

“I have my family, Trevor.”

 

“You need a friend here. Not just someone who you see every single day, no doubt.”

 

I pause as he sits at the edge of my cot. His dark brown hair spiked, his icy blue eyes making contact with mine. “It does feel a little nice knowing I have a friend here.”

 

“Promise I’m not making you feel intimidated to say that?”

 

“Trevor, you’re in no way intimidating. You honestly think that? Ha.”

 

“I like to believe that I can somewhat control people, ha, you know? Power is, well, powerful. I know I didn’t intimidate you, anyway, I was joking around.”