¤Corrine's Point of View¤
"Are you happier now?" I asked with hesitation. I could see that he was quite surprised with my question. After realizing that I really want to know the answer to my question, I dismissed my hesitation and added, "..I-I mean much happier than I used to make you feel?"
He paused. "Y-Yes," he was quite hesitant himself. It was as if he was not sure of his answer. He was drowned on his own thoughts, but after he realized that I was still in front of him, he added, "Yes, I am happier now. How about you?"
I was already expecting his answer but still I won't deny that I'm hurt. I already prepared myself for this and I shouldn't have felt this pain that I'm feeling right now. Right there and then, I became sure of what I was feeling. I still love him. There's no point denying it to myself. But ofcourse, I can't tell him what I feel. I don't want to bother him anymore. Telling him my feelings will just complicate things. Though I know he doesn't love me anymore, still I won't risk confusing him.
I was silent for a little bit but when I regained my thoughts, I smiled and answered, "Yes, I'm happy that you're happy Josh". I'm not faking it, I really am happy that he's happier now. But ofcourse I couldn't lie to him. I couldn't tell him I'm happier now 'coz the truth is, I'm hurting because I still love him.
==========================
That night...
"Yes, I am happier now"
"Yes, I am happier now"
"Yes, I am happier now"
His answer is just playing in my head like a broken record. I can't seem to get over it.
"Anu ka ba naman Corrine, stop thinking about him! You need to sleep! Gosh!" nasabi ko na lang bigla habang pagulong-gulong lang sa kama at sinusubukang makatulog. Mga limang oras na akong nakahiga lang. Nakakainis kasi ang utak ko. Parang may sariling mga paa at kung saan-saan napapadpad. Hindi ako makatulog sa kadahilanang kung ano-ano ang pumapasok sa isip ko. My mind should really stop roaming around and just focus on falling asleep!
My problem is, my mind can't stop thinking of what I had lost. I lost the man who truly LOVED me. Yes, LOVED.. past tense.. and I know I can't get him back. He's happier now. I made a mistake 3 years ago and I can't change it. All I can do is face the fact that this is the result of what I did.
I hurt him bad.
Now it's my turn to suffer the consequences, especially now that I just realized all of a sudden that I still love him.
He's happier now. Mas masaya na sya ngayon and it hurts knowing that he's happier because of someone else and not because of me.
I know I'm the one to blame kaya wala akong karapatan mag-inarte at mag-drama. Ako naman kasi ang bumitaw sa kanya. Kaya kasalanan ko kung bakit wala na sya sa piling ko.
"Ang tanga-tanga ko naman kasi. Stupid.. Stupid.. Stupid!!! Ughh!" naihilamos ko na lang ang mga palad ko sa mukha ko sa sobrang inis sa sarili. "I can't take this anymore, matutulog na talaga ako!" I said to myself. After that, I grabbed my blanket and covered myself with it until I finally fell asleep.
==========================
A week after...
I woke up at exactly 6:30 in the morning, just in time for my alarm clock to ring. Ganito talaga ako, nauuna parati ako magising kaysa sa alarm clock ko. Weird nga eh. But I got used to it.
I immediately got out of my bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower. I have to get ready for work. My work starts at 8, so I have just enough time to get ready.
After I took my shower, it's time for me to get dressed. I just wore my usual outfit when I go to the office. And that is a formal business casual dress and a pair of high-heeled shoes. Then I went to my dresser to put on a light make up and finished it up with a bright red lipstick. When I saw that I was already good to go, I went downstairs to eat my breakfast.
After I finished eating, I grabbed my bag and went to the garage to get to my car. I stepped inside to sit on the driver's seat and started the engine. It's 7:30 on my wristwatch, "just in time, as always," I said to myself.
I took one last look at the mirror to check how I look and then I started to drive out of the garage and into the driveway.
As I was driving along the street, I saw a familiar face standing outside a five-star restaurant. He looks so familiar to me, perhaps too familiar rather. I stopped my car for a little while and thought about going out just to say hi to him. After our little talk last week and after he said that he's happier now, I never really talked to him again.
I was about to open the car door when another familiar face came into the picture. When I saw her going towards him, I immediately shut the car door again. I took another look at them and I saw her kiss him on his cheeks. I guess I was right, they are still together. I decided to start the engine again and just pretended that I didn't see them.
It still hurts, I guess. Or am I just too guilty in hurting him and letting him go? Seeing my ex, Joshua Miguel de la Vega with his girlfriend, Katherine Gizelle Chua, made me realize how much he still means to me. I want to know how he's been. I want to know how happy he is with her, that way, I could just move on and finally let go. Yes, I'm still living in the past. It's been 3 years but I haven't moved on from what I did. It was all my fault but I'm the one hurting now. How ironic.
Because I was too clouded with my own thoughts, I didn't realize that I was already in front of the Blinxgal Group of Companies building. And yes, that is where I work. After I graduated 3 years ago, this is where I landed. I'm too blessed to work in one of the Top Companies here in the Philippines and one of the well-known companies in Asia.
Though we have our own company na mamanahin ko in the near future, mas gusto ko pa rin talaga na ako mismo ang gagawa ng pangalan para sa sarili ko. Gusto ko rin kasi na may ma-prove ako sa sarili ko. That I'm able to succeed hindi lang dahil isang Villegas ako. Kundi dahil sa sariling pagsisikap ko. Good thing I was able to convince my parents na magtrabaho muna for the mean time sa ibang company.
I parked my car sa reserved parking space for me and immediately went inside the building.
I'm Corrine Grace Elaine Villegas, turning 24 years old, and working as an Executive Manager in Blinxgal Group of Companies. Let's just say that I'm always lucky when it comes to almost everything. Well, except in LOVE. I always make the wrong choices in that aspect. Just like what happened to me 3 years ago.
As I came inside the building, parang on cue, sinalubong ako ng assistant ko. She's tensed and nervous as always. 'Gosh, she should relax more. It's not like i'm gonna eat her,' I thought to myself.
"Good morning Miss Corrine," after my assistant greeted me, she handed me a cup of coffee to start my day. "The files are already on your table," she said as she tries to keep up with my pace, "And you have a meeting with one of our clients later at 10," she added. I pressed the button on the elevator to open it. Once it opened, I came inside and pressed '8'. My office is on the 8th floor. While waiting for the elevator to reach 8th floor, an idea came into my mind.
"Jane, can you do a little favor for me please," I asked my assistant. A bit surprised, she answered, "Anything for you Miss Corrine".
"Can you please research on this guy," I wrote something on a piece of paper and handed it to her. "I want to know everything about his life, especially on these past 3 years. I want to know how he's been. I need information on his lovelife, career, future plans.. everything that involves him," I continued.
"Joshua Miguel de la Vega?" Jane asked as she read the piece of paper I handed to her.
"Yes, and also if possible, try to get information about his girlfriend, Katherine Gizelle Chua," I added. "Let's just keep this as our little secret, alright?" I looked at her to check her reaction while waiting for her reply. Jane looked puzzled but quickly answered "Yes, Miss Corrine, you can definitely count on me."
After that little conversation with my assistant, Jane, I went inside my office and shut the door.
I need to know everything about him after what happened 3 years ago.
Wanna know what really happened back then? Well, let's back up a little preferably 9 years ago...
