Rebel with a Cause √

f o u r

Y/ n

"Again"

"You're not trying."

"Again!"

Every time Kylo hurled an insult at your form you mentally cringed.

You trip backwards and fall against the wall, painting and sweaty, you can't catch your breath. Suddenly Kylo's fiery red saber is inches away from your face.

"You don't seem to understand. Do you think the Resistance will rest? Huh?" He snapped

"If I could just rest." You beg, gulping in air.

"Again!" He yells jabbing the tip of the saber toward you.

You force yourself up.

He didn't give you a saber of your own, he said you weren't ready. So he decided he was going to teach you what to do if you were without weapon against an armed opponent.

You knew he meant Rey, but the only fight you'd ever get into with Rey would be about the proper way to fly the Falcon. (Her methods of repair were arguable, but you still respected them.)

As you and Kylo circle across the sparing mat you can see him planning his next attack. He won't do any fatal moves, you're sure of it. But you know he won't hesitate to injure you to prove a point.

"Use you anger, let it fuel your fight. Push it around you, let it fill you up." He says menacingly from across the mat. Swinging his saber threateningly.

You don't know why you listened to him, but you thought about all the things you were angry about, the pain you were subjected to here, all the people you had to leave behind.

You were snapped from your thoughts, Kylo suddenly charges you, a truly fatal move. The tip would shove right through you chest if you didn't move.

You did as you were told, you allowed the anger fill you up. Your hand flies out in front of you, and you will Kylo to fly back, pushing every feeling into what you wanted. And he did.

His body lands on the other side of the arena with a hard thump.

You cover your mouth, realizing what you'd done.

"M-master Ren?" You ask, terror filling your voice. You hoped you hadn't hurt him. You didn't want to be responsible for killing Kylo Ren, after all, Rey had already killed Snoke.

Luckily he was getting up, but he lingers on his knees holding his middle. He eventually wipes his mouth, and stumbles up. He looks a bit embarrassed.

"T-Training is over. Resume to your chambers." He mumbles, shoving pass you.

You watch him leave in disbelief, did you...did you just beat him?

Impossible.

He just gave up like that. He really was weak.

You huff and begin walking to you chambers.

When you arrive you take off your training clothes and take a quick shower, and afterward change into some dark red robes.

Lying on your bed, your hair was still damp, which annoyed you. Then you notice the wave of exhaustion that suddenly folds over you. Using the Force was so tiring sometimes. Especially since you used it for useless reasons to, to...practice?

Soon enough your eyes close and you can feel yourself fall into a dream.

You can see into someone's room, but you're standing in your own also, it's like it your reality melted of into another.

You feel confused.

You could feel someone next to you, you turn, it's Kylo.

He's sitting in a chair, he must be thinking. He looks so tired.

Was this his room?

Could he see you?

You walk over to his seat.

You whisper "Kylo?" And wave a hand in his face.

Your hand stays in front of his face, you don't know what washes over you, but you placed your hand gently on his cheek, your thumb touching his scar.

Only now did he seem to notice you, his brown eyes flick over to yours. He looks deadpan and then it melts into something that appears like an ancient sadness. It makes you feel something for him besides pure rage.

As you stare into his eyes, its like something opens between the two of you. Like suddenly you know him, really know him. Like somehow you know not just Kylo but Ben Solo too.

The word tumbles out of your mouth before you can stop it,

"Ben" you say, barely above a whisper.

Suddenly, the world around you changes, and you fall onto the floor, you're on a different planet now, its raining heavily, and in the darkness of night and you lie on the muddy ground. And Kylo stands in front of you, saber bleeding red as he points it at you accusingly, while 7 of so other men stand behind him. Just as the saber swings towards you, you wake up, breathing heavily, and crying.

"I don't want to do this anymore." You cry, falling off the bed and sobbing uncontrollably.

You hated it here, it was so cruel, it made so much sense why Finn left. And Kylo, he was a- a maniac. You just wanted to be with all your friends again, you wished you couldn't use the Force and that, you'd never decided to be brave. You wished you'd stayed a coward forever.

There were plenty of other opportunities to be brave. Why did you have to pick this one?

Since the beginning of time you felt like you had a destiny.

You prayed this wasn't it, that whatever you saw, whatever that was, was fake. The Force tricking you. This couldn't be your fate.

You didn't want to feel anything for Kylo Ren, because then It'd be harder to kill him when the time was right.

You just knew that, when it was time, you'd be the one to kill him.

Whatever that bridge was, the connection you made, it just had to be forgotten. You couldn't connect with him, in such an intimate, personal way. Feeling pitty for him was bad enough, but when you got so close to him...

You realized you could love him.

But right now you felt like you couldn't, that you couldn't ever love that, that, monster, he didn't want to be redeemed, he didn't want light or dark he just wanted power. And he would give up anything for it. Even you.

You feel like the Force has trapped you in a cage with a monster. A murderous snake.

He didn't mind this cage because he knew he was in control..but this time you know what you have to do to keep yourself protected.

When everything seems to settle you can feel the Force trying to show you something. To any other, a sharp poke in the senses would hurt, but to you, the ringing in your ears only meant one thing,

Follow your destiny.