Rebel with a Cause √

n i n e

Somehow, you understood.

Everything Duran said, you understood. You weren't the one who walked away from the conversation first, he was. He left you there, confused and hurt. But you understood why he stayed for someone he'd loved.

You'd only been in love once before.

Pax Cruise, he was a farmers son on Lah'mu. Then the First Order came...and suddenly Pax's lifeless body laid on the black sand, his body, like every other rebel's, was washed away by the tide. Pax would've given you a good life, but nothing would've changed.

They'd taken everything from you. Duran was wrong. None of this was your fault, none of the the bloodshed of the First Order was on your hands.

In a fit of absolute rage you used the Force and grabbed a blaster from the holster of a stormtrooper. Firing at the wall in front of you repeatedly, yelling madly until the handle burned. Dropping the blaster, the fit ended as soon as it came.

What'd just happened?

Breathing heavily you kicked the blaster to the side. Grabbing your mask and marching away.

_

You were called to a meeting by the Supreme Leader, but even after having that fit you were still angry.

After arriving, you stood by Kylo. You weren't sure what they were talking about, you never read the debriefing. Soon, your old Captain stood up. As if your anger couldn't increase, it toppled over the edge. You remembered the sting of the electricity from your punishments. The time she'd slapped a young cadet and starved her.

Your fist clinched.

Captain Lionne began to adjust her collar. And then she stopped speaking and instead, started gasping for air. Everyone began to mumble and shuffle uncomfortably.

Kylo glanced at you.

He grabbed your hand that was unclenched and held it.

You released your grip and turned to look at him. He still hadn't let go of your hand.

Inside your head you heard him whisper to you,

"Enough."

He cleared his throat and the meeting continued.

_

You got to the training room first. The only reason you'd ever get there early is to let out excess anger. But this time, it wasn't because of that. It was because you wanted to catch Ben off guard and talk to him.

Of course you had to be careful, but you wanted to tell him that whatever had happened in that meeting, could never happen again, it was too dangerous for the Resistance and yourself.

You'd already grown to somewhat care about Ben, after your Force bond. But you couldn't shake off all of the terrible things he'd done.

He was the murder of billions, the reason people closest to you died. He could've even been the reason your parents were gone.

You heard Ben's booming footsteps coming from down the hall. He stormed inside. He wasn't wearing his uniform, but instead robes like yours, he'd abandoned his gloves but his saber still hung at his side.

"Ben," you shouted softly.

He glanced back at you, stopping.

"I told you not to call me by that name. It's forbidden."

"I know but if I could just-"

"Can you even do simple tasks? There's a reason that name is forbidden, it's because Ben Solo was weak! And he was foolish! That's why Snoke took it away from him! Made him follow his destiny!" The air crackles with the familiar feeling of the Force.

There's that monster again.

Ben Solo, falls to his knees. His eyes were of a man who'd been tortured.

You betrayed yourself, you walked over and keeled down to him.

"What did he do to you Ben?"

He looked up at you with tears in his eyes.

"Do you know I can't dream?" He shakes his head. "Snoke took that away from me. I used to have terrible nightmares. It was the dark side, I saw everything, Darth Vader, the Emperor. I saw all of it. And it scared me. The light, started to call out to me. And so he took it away. So I wouldn't have to worry about it at all."

"Ben..."

He grabbed you and hugged you.

You were so taken aback, you could barely breath.

_

You sat there with Ben on the sparing mat.

Suddenly the two of you were more in sync then you ever been.

"Feel the Force, feel everything around you. Charge it with your feelings."

Everything around you lifted off the ground.

"You're doing it!" Ben exclaimed

Suddenly General Hux ran into the training room,

"Supreme Leader, we've spotted Poe Dameron, the scavenger girl, and FN-2187 on Laskaris III."

"Prepare my ship."