You weren't afraid of dying.
Really and truly, dying for the Resistance was a fantasy. Actually, it was the way you hoped you'd die. You'd be a hero, and will have died for something worth fighting for.
But the thing that did scare you was dying for nothing.
And you felt like that was the way you'd die. And it terrified you.
You lied melancholy in bed like you did now most days. It reminded you of how you'd felt when your parents had disappeared.
They were farmers and it was supposed to be like any other trip, they were supposed to leave to the neighboring system, sell their wares, and come back home. But they didn't come back the next day, or the day after, or ever again.
You stayed at the farm for a long time, too afraid to leave. Too afraid that they'd come back for there daughter who wasn't their.
You just kept dusting the crops with your father's old ship. Tried to keep living. Forced yourself to grow up too fast.
Until the First Order invaded your plant and you escaped.
Then you met Poe, a Resistance pilot, and threw yourself into the ring. You managed to impress him, (which wasn't easy), and he told you about the destruction you could prevent.
Now you got yourself in this mess.
A knock sounds at your door, interrupting your thoughts.
You get up from your bed and press a button, opening the door.
"Supreme Leader has requested your presence." It was a stormtrooper.
You sigh, putting on your cloak on and leaving with him. He holds on to your arm tightly and once again, shoves the blaster into your side.
Your manacles clip together in front of you. It surprises you, you'd almost forgotten about them with the constant weight of the cuffs on your wrists.
He must've wanted another round of training. You'd been slacking off lately. Your scar constantly reminded you of your failures and that the monster Kylo was creating was alive and well.
You couldn't look at yourself in the mirror anymore. It hurt too much. To see what you'd become.
Your Force connection with Kylo didn't make it any better. You saw him all the time. In your dreams mostly. But it was strange, he was always wide awake in your dreams, vividly. Unlike you, who was in a strange lucid state.
The trooper halted to a stop in front of a strange room you'd never seen before.
This wasn't his throne room...
The stormtrooper releases you, and you slide the door open and walk inside.
It was a large meeting room, but other occupants must've been dismissed. Only Kylo sat, the other dozen or so chairs, empty.
Lowering the hood of your cloak you begin to speak,
"Supreme Leader, you wanted to see me?""Yes. I have some plans I'd like to discuss with you." He waves his hand towards the empty seat next to him.
You sit, shuffling uncomfortably. Plans?
"I have to visit allies of the Order. To reassure them we stand with them with Snoke gone. And to assure them that I'm am a competent leader. And you're going to come with me. What better way to display my strength than with my apprentice?"
You choke.
"W-What will this be, a- a tour? A parade of strength? Am I a prize to be seized?" You croak nervously.
"________, you must see the bigger picture. Let go of whatever your holding on too." He says, waving his hands, as if he can show you what it all means. "You'll come to understand soon enough. That the Dark side of the Force better, more fulfilling. I can feel your conflict. I may not be able to see into your mind but, it will soon be resolved, I know." He places a hand on your shoulder, it surprises you along with when he called you by your name.
He knows?
You look at his hand with confusion, his small smile disappears as he too seems to realize the kind gesture he made, and he pulls away quickly.
He clears his throat, "Well you're presence is no longer required, dismissed."
You nod solemnly, and walk out. There is no escort this time.
You know what you need to do.
_
Clicking the button, the hologram is transmitted. You let out a breath of relief and hope the Resistance will follow your instructions and trust your message.
You had already received your reports about the First Orders allies. You had to learn about them so you can greet them appropriately and let them know your place of power. Your ship would leave from the base in the next few days.
This was a make or break for you. It was a true integration into the high ranks of the Order. You'd actually find some useful information for the Resistance and they could plan something big, with your guidance of course.
Too bad you weren't able to rig anymore ships, but you could rig more important things.
It was time, you had to make the First Order pay.
YOU ARE READING
Rebel with a Cause √
FanfictionKylo Ren x Reader// "You have no love for anyone. Not even yourself." You are a pilot for the Resistance. But now it's your chance to call the shots. Your newest mission? Infiltrate the First Order and keep a close watch. You will make sure the Fir...