This Crazy Feeling

ThisCrazyFeeling.Part10

The rest of our mall date went by smoothly. Andres and I talked about how everyone will be all dressed up on Monday for the first day of school. So we decided to get dressy on the second day of school, so all eyes are on us. On this thought, we walked into Wet Seal so I could pick out a nice outfit for our second day of school. I spotted a floral dress underneath a clearance rack for 15 dollars. It's powder blue, with white and yellow Hawaiian flowers on it. Andres told me to go try it on. So I gave him my bag to hold and asked a really pretty lady to unlock a dressing room door for me. Stripping naked and slipping into the dress I could feel the coolness of the fabric on my skin. In the front, the dress is a little above my knee while it gradually flows down to my calves in the back. The dress is like a corset around my waist, making me look more shapely. It has a heart shaped neck, complimenting my fairly small breasts. And to add the highlight of the dress, the back is all lace. Letting my skin bear itself and glisten through the wholes of the patterned lace. It made me feel like a Queen of some sort of hibiscus beach. I walked out of the dressing room to see Andres patiently waiting for me on his phone.

"Hey...what do you think?", I asked him. Andres looked up from his phone already smiling, I wonder who he was texting. However, when his eyes were set on me his smile grew so much more brighter. "Whoa...you look gorgeous." I spun myself around so he could see every angle of me. "Thanks! I think I'm gonna wear this, do you know what you're wearing?" He gives me a smirk and says, "Babe, I got this. We're gonna look ridiculously hot." I chuckled on the way back to my dressing room to change. After cashing out, we went to Starbucks and got us some grandes before leaving.

At home we were having an organizing session in my room. Andres was sitting on the floor to put together his binders and folders. I'm on my bed with my binders and folders as well. I had already put in my dividers, and all my utensils in my pencil bag. So I'm personalizing all my stuff with glitter pens!

"Babe...", Andres mumbles. The ball on my pen paused and the ink leaks through the paper I'm drawing a unicorn on. I'm not sure if I answer to that or..."Yes?" "What's your favorite type of flowers?", he asks. I stared off to the side of my imagination thinking of a valley filled with my most favorite flowers. It's so hard to choose just one! "It depends...", I say with extra ssss at the end. "So name a few.", he stacks all of his binders on top one another and places them on the bed side table. He creeps onto the bed and sits next to me. "My all-time favorite is the bleeding hearts, but those flowers look better outside and in their soil. Another favorite are white roses, perfect for an indoor vase. Why do you ask?" "I'm just curious.", the smirk on his face told me otherwise.

Hours later, we're in bed cuddled up watching A Dead Poet's Society. This movie is amazing. There's a actor who's portraying a role of a character who's father disapproves of his interest in theater arts. It's really sad, but so inspiring. So far, he's going with a plan to participate in the play without letting his father know and forging the permission slip he was given just to be in the play. Oh gosh, all this work. I'm blessed that my mom supports me chasing after my dreams, and what I love to do. If it weren't for her my self-esteem would be at zero and I'd be at home still in the same old place. Dancing in the streets. Which is awesome, I just want something new. I want to dance in a studio, on stage with a celebrity, possibly even Madison Square Garden. I want to go to bigger and brighter places, so I can return home and be able to say that I've made it.

Andres' phone rings and startles the both of us during the movie, "Hello?" I try to listen closely to the other half of the conversation but I'm way too tired for that. "Yes...Uhm...well I'll just text it to you.", and he hangs up. I look at him expecting for him to tell me who it was but he kisses me on the forehead and just resumes to watching the movie again. This boy has something going on, I could feel it.

It was 2 in the morning and we were watching movies at random on Netflix. I'm yawning and groaning and snuggling, trying to enjoy the last Saturday of summer. Andres is on his phone still, so I pull mine out of my bra. 33 new twitter notifications pop up on my screen. I scroll down my notifications and see pictures of Rosalie and her cat , strangers saying hey, and guys favoriting my pictures. As I was about to get off of twitter I see a tweet posted by Jay 39 seconds ago right at the top of newsfeed. "The babe and I out to dinner(:", it was a picture of him and Becca. Ugh, puke. She's disgusting and has no manners. I feel myself heat up and my fist balling. I should just never get on social media ever again.

Morning came about, and outside has never looked so holy. The sun gazing over the Earth's trees and bees. I woke up next to Andres, and there's no better way to start my day than to wake up next to someone I call mine. I notice that he's been awake for a while because he's flipping through the t.v. channels and on the phone with one of his friends. Once he hangs up, he leans over to kiss the top of my head. "Good morning babe," he squeezed me tight in his arms. "Good morning," I yawned. "Theo is picking me up in a few, I hope you don't mind being alone for today", he said. Wondering what his plans were with Theo, I simply replied, "I don't mind. I'm way too tired to do anything today after staying up and watching so many movies last night." Which for the most part, is true. I've never been this tired all summer. Sleep really is irrelevant when your reality becomes a more happier atmosphere than in your dreams. However, It kind of makes me wonder why in the world was he up before I was to plan a day with Theo? I understand that boys need their guy time, it just seems sketchy to me. Andres has been on his phone a lot lately too. It's like a big puzzle I can't piece.

A half an hour later I'm left alone in my room, on my bed, laying with my eyes shut. Thinking about how edgy I am to feel this sketchy about Andres' sudden leave to be with Theo. The truth is, after being with a guy like Jay, I can't be who I used to be. I can't trust, I can't be tranquil, I'm always worrying and wondering, and everybody are suddenly angels you can't trust with the halos.

Even if I hadn't dated Jay, everything else in my life gives me a reason to be mine own guard. I do admit that although my past life events has given me reasons to be how I am, I can't say it gives me an excuse. It's just an explanation to the why and what.

The whole day I spend my time in my room. Getting up several times to stretch. It wasn't till late at night when Andres came back home. He disappeared into his room for a while, making a lot of racket and fuss. I heard him dropping things and bumping into things. When the noise calmed down, he came into my room. Staring at him, I can tell he's exhausted. That's what he gets for not sleeping and then going out the whole day. "Hey beautiful, I missed you." I was holding out my arms for him to come into bed and hug me. "I missed you too," whispering into his hair. I wanted to ask him what he did today, but I don't want to seem like an obsessive person. I decided to just drop my suspicion and trust he wasn't up to anything.