This Crazy Feeling

ThisCrazyFeeling.Part11

It was Monday. First day of school, first day of Handford High. I'm not nervous, I'm rather actually annoyed. Waking up so early, just to get up to live a day of a teenage life. Following Andres' plan, I put on joggers, a tank top, and some vans. I blow dried my hair, and didn't even want to touch my makeup bag. It's only 6:15 and I have a while before I meet Andres downstairs. I grab my bag and put my pencil pouch in it and set my bag down next to my binder.

Despite how annoyed I am of being up when I want to be asleep, I get this sense of differentiation. Back home, I was one of those people Andres didn't want to be apart of on the first day of school. I would have had picked out a dress to outshine everyone else, to feel like I was better than others when I know I'm not. It feels really good to just be on top of everyone at a game all teenagers play. Today feels weird because, I'm not in the game anymore. Atleast, not at the start anyway. Or maybe, it's just a whole new game with different rules. Instead of being the shining star the first day back to school, me and Andres will have the spotlight on the second day. It seems really ridiculous, but it feels pleasing. Cause now instead of being on top of everyone, everyone isn't under me to be on top of. I'd be on a higher level of star quality that no one was able to reach but me and Andres.

Things also feel different in the point where I just don't care about how I looked today. Even if I was dressing casual I'd have my eye makeup done and throw in some accessories to reflect my personality. Looking into the mirror right now, I don't see my persona. I see a blank sheet of paper, with black and white patterns. No color, no splash. I see this girl I don't recall seeing these past few years in the mirror, but I remember her. Behind makeup, accessories, and my dedication to reaching fame and success by making performing my life; is some girl I had lost long ago. I come off as this independent, tough, strong performer but, deep inside my internal cuts I cared what people thought about me. I strut around like nobody's business, but backstage I'm afraid. Does the crowd love it? Does the crowd hate it? What do they want from me? How do they want it? Should I do this better? God, backstage is where a star is only a tiny speck of space dust. I've been playing this role for so long, I don't remember who I used to be. I lied to myself till it became true.

Andres came into my room and gave me some orange juice. "Goodmorning babe, come on we'll be late if you keep looking at yourself in the mirror. You look beautiful as always anyways." I chuckled, "Yeah,Yeah. Let's just go." I grab my bag and binder and we take flight down the stairs. Andres swings a key ring around his finger with car keys jangling attached to it. "You giving those to Latoya?", I said. "I'm driving us babe." My eyes went wide. "You can drive?" "Yeah. My parents took my keys away cause I was never home.", he smirked. I didn't say anything, mostly cause I went speechless at the sight of his car. His OWN car. Black and beautiful, smooth looking too.

We finally arrive to school. Handford is HUGE. Luckily all my classes are in two neighboring wings; wing B and wing C. Andres' classes aren't far from mine either, his is wings A and B. We actually share several classes together, since we're a little more advanced than some students. We have first period English, third period Math, fourth period History, fifth period Lunch and eighth period Art. So basically I'll be seeing him at school, at home, and all the times around that too.

We were standing hand in hand in front of the main entrance doors. "You ready?" . I blinked twice too fast, "I was born ready." Making our way past some obvious smelling pot heads, too high high-heeled sluts and a bunch of book worms we reach door 207 for English with Mr.Lanouii. Immediately we dart ourselves to the first two seats of the first row. I hated sitting in the back and I guess Andres did too. As the rest of the class files in one by one, I notice Mr.Lanouii reading a book titled "How To Be A Teacher". Well isn't that great, he has no idea what he's doing.

The bell rung, and a slam struck the whole class quiet. Our eyes snapped to the front of the room where Mr.Lanouii has his hand pressed down on the book he slammed against the desk. "Goodmorning class, I'm Mr.Lanouii. Instead of spending our first day together going over classroom procedures and disciplinary consequences, let's discuss the things that really matter." Andres leans in closer to me from behind my seat and whispers, "What's going on..." I had no idea, but I just shrugged my shoulders and kept my eyes on Mr.Lanouii.