Meeting Innocence

17

It has been two days since the day that Jacob chose to grace me with his presence.
The presence that I so desperately want to see. I miss him so much that it is driving me insane.

The burns are less painful now and I am already back home. Vero has been very helpful which am guessing is Jacob's will.
I don't get why he really wants to stay away from me when I know that he needs and wants me just as much as I do.

The need to see him is too intense.
It is driving me crazy and I can not handle it, am not strong enough.
I have tried calling him but he never picks up and never calls back.

Surely, love can truly drive you crazy, it makes you do crazy stuffs which am guessing is why I am here.
Outside Jacob's house rather mansion. I have been standing outside his door for two minutes now and I really don't know what to do.
Scratch that.
I know what I want to do, I want to see him and kiss him until my lungs give out but am not sure about what  his  response would be.

I mean, he clearly does not want to see me.
What if his reaction shutters me?
What if it  is not what  i am expecting?
What am I even expecting?
This is all messed up.

I take a deep breath and then take one more glance at the surrounding and i must say it looks quite different from how i first saw it.
Then it was inviting and had a vibe and warmth that draw your attention.
Don't get me wrong, it still draws your attention but in a creepy way. Now it is so segregated, it gives you the bad chills.
Or it could just be me.

When am done with that quick glance around the surrounding, i turn to face the door and rise my hand to the rusty gold doorknob and swiftly turn it.
I push the door after it clicks open, it does not make any other sound which i am thankful for.

I enter feeling the cold atmosphere of the house run chills all over my body and for a moment i bite my lower lip painfully then releasing it.
The house is so quite my black pamps and heavy breathing the only thing making noise.

"Hello? Jac  are you home?" I basically ask myself for no one replies to my questions.

I abruptly turn with a gasp leaving my mouth and my hand on my chest as if it would just pop out of my chest.

"Bella! What are you doing here? I could have killed you! Do you have any idea what that would do to-" he stops himself.
Looking at his pale eyes only gives me Griff.
His hold on me is so weak that if I had not seen his face I would have not known it was him holding me.
The Jacob i know is strong, not- not the one holding me right now.

My vision blurs due to the unshed tears forming in my eyes.
I missed him so much and that he does not seem to be going well himself only enlighten my emotions.
I think he misses me too. I can tell.

He pulls me in for a hug holding me tightly as if he is going to loose me or I will suddenly vanish into thin air.
I can't stop the sob that escape my lips, I lay my chest on his broad chest as  he renders me soft and soothing sweet words that I can't seem to comprehend.

"I missed you, I had to see you." I say as I pull away from the comforting and very emotional hug or must I say Reunion.
His eyes show an emotion that I can not really tell what it is.
He takes a few steps away from me as realisation of what he was doing hits him hard like a brick to the head.  I step forward to cover the distance between us only for him to move back again.
I try so hard to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill out of my eyes again.

"Bella, we can't do this. You can not be with me." He says pushing his hands in his pant pockets, his eyes glittering with the unshed tears. His heart breaks and it is visible in his facial expression.

"But I want to be with you" I say closing the distance once again.  He shakes his head in a no sign and my heart break at the hard realisation that there is no way of changing his mind.

Without thinking through what I was doing, my lips as if having a mind  of it's own slams on his lips and pull him to me. My hands forming tight fists in his hair.
The kiss is rushed and rough yet so emotional. The urgency in the kiss tells me we both want this, need this.
I am roughly pushed to the nearest wall with full force, am surprised that I don't feel any pain what's so ever.

I cross my legs around his waist  as the kiss deepens, Jacob's harsh breathing acts like a drug to me.
I want more. I need more.
I brake away from the kiss before both our lungs could give out.  He starts to kiss my jaw  all the way to my neck rendering me senseless.
All I want is him, all of him.

"Ah, I missed this" I  say in between moans without thinking it through.

Jac abruptly steps away from me causing me to almost fall to my face but lucky he holds me from my waist and prevents me from slamming my face with the cold polished floor.

"No, we can't do this. You , me. It won't work" he says as if trying to convince himself more than convince me.

"How do you know? I believe we can work it out." I am almost yelling. In panic I run out of things to tell that will make him change his mind.

"I know! Bella, this is not safe. You will be in danger if you're with me. For God's sake, you almost died."  He practically yells at me like I was a child.

"Yeah! But I deed not die and I won't. Whatever happened that day was not your fault. I know that you blame your sel-"

"You don't get it Bella!" He  cuts me short with his claim. "Whatever happened that day, what is going to happen is all my fault. They came after you because of me."  He continued " I should have stayed away from you. I knew I was not good for you, I am  am a bad person. I should not have persuade you" he says in a guilty, self sorrow tone. His head hanging low.
And all I want to do is comfort him, tell him that it was not his fault, that it is not his fault but he will not believe me cause he believes otherwise.

"You're not a bad person, you are a good man and I know. These bad people you search for just want to scare you away using me as bet. But you and I will get passed through this, I know it.  I knew it was dangerous when I started dating you." That is all I seem to have come up with in order to help him feel less guilty.

He gives a small dangerous laugh, his eyes darkening. For a moment,  I unconsciously take a step backwards by his cold tone that causes my heart with fear.
"You don't understand Bella, not everything is exactly what it seems. You should be more worry of me than them and if you knew what I am, you would be running for the hills."

"Try me, I don't care what you are all I want is to be with you" I say as if what he was just from telling me did not mean nothing to me.

"That's what you think, but if you knew. You would even go through a window just  to get away from me."

"Try me " I  replied.
He looked at  for a while before giving me the answer I least expected.
"I am a killer" it flows  from his mouth as if it  was no big deal.

What?