Meeting Innocence

15

BELLA'S. PoV

I can't stand all this.
It is too much.
It is unbearable.
It hurts too much.

I feel like my heart is being twisted and pulled at the same time. It hurts a lot.
I just lost him.

I lost him.

My vision becomes burly as thick trends of tear continuously slid down to my cheeks.

He left me.

Rejection hurts a lot but rejection with a lame excuse such as "this is for your own good"  hurts like a bitch.

I fall to my knees as I see him slam my bedroom door shut.

'I just lost him' I say to myself.

My hands clenches my shirt in a very tight grip, as if that would help stop or reduce the pain that I am feeling.

I can't loose him, I love him so much.
I love him and I know he loves me too.
I love him.
I have to fight for him.
We have have to fight.
We can't just give up.

            What am I even saying,

He chose to leave me.

He has left me!

I am snapped back to reality as I feel a hand  on my left shoulder.
I rise my head and came face to face with Verona.
I don't even know for how long I have been kneeing on the hard tiled floor.

I feel numb, my eyes are so red and puffy by now, I even feel tired. I could not get my mind to comprehend anything, yet one thought kept running in my mind.

'I lost him'
'He left me'

The more I thought about it, the more pain I felt.
Even after my previous break ups, I had never felt such intense pain but him.

Jacob.

He has hurt me real bad. I can not believe this.
I whish for this to be a nightmare and I will wake up very soon or that it is just a disordered illusion.

Am stuck. I can't seem to comprehend between reality and an illusion.

"Unhh, i- " Vero  starts to say but cuts herself.
It is clear that she does not know what to say. She instead helps up to my feet, I stumble for a bit as I feel my legs become numb.
Vero  walks me back  to my bed and helps me sit on it.

"I think you should rest." Vero  says giving me a pitiful look.

"He- he left me Vero. He left me." I say in a husky voice because of not talking for a while.

"Oh, honey. I think he was doing what is best for you. Please just give him time."
Vero  tells me pulling my head to rest on her chest, smoothly caressing my back like a caring mother.
This only causes me to sob more.

"How long Vero? How long?" I ask in between sobs.

"Honey, you and Jacob are from different worlds. It is best that you stay away from him. I- I can't tell you everything about him but I can you this, he is not the man you think he is and his love for you will be the death of you."  I rise my head from her chest to look at her, searching for any sort of emotion but all I see is  nothing.
Just empty ness. Empty of any emotion.

"You should rest now.  You have a long day tomorrow." She turns to leave.

I can't live without him.
I love him too much.

"Please tell me if there is anything you need." I say. I can't believe I almost forgot about hospitality.
Verona is a gust and I almost completely forgot about her.

"I will be fine. Just get some rest." She says and walks away.

Rest.
Ones mind can only rest if it  is free of worries. And I
I am far from that.
Rest.
My mind can not rest.
It can't to get itself to rest.

All night, all I do is cry.

How could he not even try to fight.
Fight for us.
Fight for what we have.
For what we are.
Fight for me!

Me.

At least fight for the sake of me.
Of us!

How could he just come into my life only to walk away.

Why did he have to walk away?

Why did I have to love him so much?
Love.
Love!

Why do I love him this much?
Why did I have to love him?

********-******-*-********-*******-*******

I woke up to the sound of plates and pots slamming each other.
It seems like someone is cooking or washing plates am not sure.

My head hurts like hell, my eyes are puffy, I feel numb.
I feel tired.
I feel sick.
And most of all.
I feel empty.

I don't even know what time I slept.
I slowly get off my bed and stumbled all the way to the bathroom.
Maybe a birth will help me feel better.

As I reach there, I strip out of my clothes stepping into the shower.
The water is so hot, I could tell from the steam but I can't feel it burn my skin.
All I do under the hot running water from the shower and cry.
Silently cry. I can't seem to produce sound.
That is how broken I feel.

'He left me'
Keeps running in my mind.
I know he loved me.
He loves me!
I love him.
I love him too much.

I am snapped out of my train of thought as a hand pulls me out of the shower.
I rise my head only to  Vero  wearing a very worried expression.
I see her mouth moving.
But I can't anything, all I do is look at her.

I don't feel anything,
I can't feel anything.
I feel nothing.
Empty.
I am empty.

'He left me'
Is all I can think about, as the darkness consumes me.

That took long for it to be updated,
I know.
Please just be patient with me.
School is consuming most of my time.

So what do is going to happen next?

Hit the comment and like button.

Thank you.

Kisses kisses.

I think I say that a lot.