Meeting Innocence

19

I woke up in the mid morning of the day, my body feels numb  and all I could do was just lay on my bed with my gaze fixed on the plain walls of my bed room, the slightly cold breeze biting my exposed skin  making me shudder.
My mind drifts only to one person, the only person that gives me sleepless nights.
  Jacob.
Some part of me is still in denial that Jacob is a cold bloody killer and has taken away not just one life but many,although the most part of me knows that it is true no matter how much I try to deny it.  He is a killer, a monster.
It is amazing how one's life can change so drastically, if you had told me a few months ago that I would meet a murderer, date him and love him.
I would have laughed  right in your face  with tears swelling out of my eyes cause that is the imaginable.
My very simple life has changed so much that I could hardly recognize it  and it is all because of him.

I reach for my phone that was laying on my night stand and dial Verona's line, I need to talk to someone and Vero is the only person I have who is close to being a friend plus she knows more about Jacob than I do so she will be able to answer some of my questions.
I think.
After taking in a deep breath, I call her line and at the third ring, Verona picks up and I sigh in gratitude.

"Hello?" I hear Vero's voice on the other side of the line and it sounds so...  So not calm.

"Hey, Vero, how are you?" I ask running out of ways of starting this conversation with her. She is the kind of girl you sit around with and just talk about boys, she is hard, muscular and must I admit very scary.

"Get to the point Bella, am very busy right now."  She cuts me short on the pep talk, her voice sounds as if she was being strangled or strangling someone I could not specifically tell which is which.
See what I mean?  She just doesn't sit around and chat.
She is different.

Her voice though was disturbing that i had to ask what she was doing and her response was shocking.
A response I would have never expected from her or any one at that  matter and I could not have been more shocked.

"Am trying to kill someone right now and you calling me is not helping. You are going to get me killed!" She yells the last part with so much struggle. I release a gasp.
She says killing some one so lazily and easy as if it didn't mean a thing, she makes taking someone's life seem like it's no big deal.

"You too?" I ask in shock, a hand on my rapidly beating chest, I  am forced to wake up and sit upright on the edge of my bed having a tight grip on my phone.
Afraid that if I don't hold on to it, it might just slip out of my hand.
What is up with these two people and killing?
Is it some kind of fashion now?

"Get. To the. Point. Bella. Am busy!" She yells once again and that snaps me out of my shocked  state and I rush for things to say that my mouth hold deep within because of the shock but I manage to say something,  anything.

"Oh, I would like you to come over my place after you're done with.." I run out of things to call it. "That" that is the only appropriate word I could come up with.
"I really need to talk to you" I added  and cut the line even before she could respond.
I lay back on my bed again, my back meeting the cheap but comfy. Well as comfy as they  could get at such a cheap price of the bed spread.

They are both killers?
Well of course they are, they are friends for God's sake.
They say,  birds of the same feathers flock together.
This situation just proves the saying right. Very true indeed.
'How did I get  this far?" I wonder to myself.

After about an hour of sitting and also laying on my bed wondering about how my life has turned out to be, how it is almost ruined. I decided to take a shower just so i could feel fresh and lighter. Then i walk to my crappy kitchen that consisted of one zinc, a black stove and some thing else to call crappy. The kitchen island but it does not even deserve to be called that, it is so worn out that you can hardly recognize it. It makes the kitchen look crappier.

Any way, i make myself some  conflex then later on had a cup of coffee. Jacob's coffee to specific, the smell of it bring comfort to my down mood.
My mind walks on it's on to the land of Jacob, the man that I love so dearly, the man that I so badly wish to be waking up to but could never be with.

You know, this truth actually explains some of the weird actions that Jac would sometimes do. Like his cold humour sometimes to certain people though. He was never cold towards me.
I mean you can not be a killer and  be normal.
The killing would tore you from your true self.

A knock at my door takes me out of my train of thoughts and I rush for the door  in anticipation knowing that it is probably Verona at the other side of the door.
As I swing  the door wide open and there, standing right on my door step was the long awaited Verona wearing a very  pitiful look on her face and even before I could allow her to enter, she goes on and welcomes herself in my house like she owns it.

"So you know?" She asks knowing that I would very well catch on to what she is talking about and walks to my living room, offering herself a seat, crossing her legs that were covered in kneel length  black boots.

"Ah, I wish I hadn't" I say with a sigh walking to her and taking a seat beside her. " and you too?" I add wearing a very frustrated facial expression. All this new knowledge draining the life out of me.

"Why do you think we are friends?" She asks me without a care what's so ever and shrugs checking her wrist watch but I do not comment on that for I know that she probably wants to go already.

"Oh, can I offer you something?" I ask, I mean that's the least I can do when she will be answering my every questions and has come so far from her contract just to see me, even if it is not by personal choice.
I think, plus I have been well thought about hospitality.

"No.  No need, I have another contract in like....." She says driving her gaze on her wrist watch and then continues "an hour thirty. So make it quick kid." So disrespectful , am clearly no kid and she is not even that older than me so her calling me a kid doesn't even make sense.

"Don't call me that" I object but she doesn't seem to give it a care, all she does is just stare at me with one eye brow rised that gives her the 'see if I care' look. So I just decide to carry on my questioning.

"Any way,  how is Jacob doing?"  I ask  desperate to know about Jacob's well being.
I do care about him.

"Am not his baby sitter" she says then burst into loud laughter all of a sudden and all I could do is just blankly stare at her wondering how on earth she can find this funny.
"Am just kidding, oh you no fun" she continues rubbing away the tears sliding down her cheeks.
I wonder why she is in such a play mood.
The Verona I know has never been funny and has never laughed this much.  She must be finding this very funny.

"Just answer my question Vero" I scold her cutting her very loud and annoying laugh short. She stopes and makes a face like a kid would do after being scolded at then straighten up wearing a serious face.
Like a lady meaning business.

"Well he is sad, depressed but mostly sad." I can't help but feel sad too.
His depressed, my Jacob is not doing well and it makes me sad too. So sad.
"Look Bella, I would love to answer all your questions and help you guys work but even I know that this is for the best. Jacob is not just a normal guy, his dangerous and not only to his enemies but to you too. He has enemies every where and they will hunt you down if they happen to know about you." She stops and grabs my hand in hers  and gives it a smooth caress then continues.
"Jacob staying away from you and not telling you anything  about all this is because he loves you. So please don't make this any harder than it should be, it is for the best that you know less." Tears freely leave my eye sockets.
Why is life so hard?

All i  ever wanted was a simple life with a simple boyfriend and maybe one day get married and have little Jacobs running around the house.

What am I even saying?
Life sucks.