voices; misc

01/13/18 - Fucking Up Twice

haha these past couple of days have been filled with anxiety honestly.

i've been so forgetful. I'm so irresponsible. I fucked up twice

Basically I had an application for a high school program I needed to hand in. I forgot to hand it in and handed it to the teacher way too late. She said she gave all the applications to the school already. I had to give it to the school myself.

The applications are due Monday. Okay I was going to ask my mom to drive me to the school later that day... after my basketball game..!

I opened my bag and realized I didn't bring my uniform. You can't play without it. I was super scared. Then guess what?

We had fucking ice rain and then it starts snowing! Canada has such AMAZING weather. The roads were icy and there's snow. No way my mom can take me to the high school or bring me my uniform.

That was all confirmed shortly after. My mom texted me and said "I can't pick you up from your basketball game. Get on the bus and come home."

I hopped on the bus and was so scared. I was crying and shaking. I couldn't stop the tears from falling. People were staring, I could've cared less. I just didn't know what to do.

School isn't obviously open on the weekend and Monday is the due date. I gotta give it in on Monday. They're probably going to think I'm irresponsible (which I am) and decline my application. It's just a feeling I have.

I obviously couldn't go to basketball game I had the same day. I was super scared because I didn't tell my teacher. I was too busy thinking and just hopped on. There was a chance for me to get kicked off the team and loose my chance into getting into this program.

So basically, I fucked up. My dumbass fucked up.

Fortunately, I didn't get kicked off the team. The coaches were understanding. I'm so sad though, I don't know what to do about my application.

heck I'm not even that smart. I don't get the best grades either. man idk what to do T-T

maybe i should just give up