One Shot Saturday!

Awsten Knight (Short)

I hate it. I hate how attached to him I am. I find myself making room for him on the bed, accidentally cooking too much, turning to say something to him when I remember he isn't there. I find myself buying his favorite cereal, picking up his favorite movie from Red Box and watching our show over and over.

I hate Awsten Knight so much because I love him. It hurts me every time he leaves. It hurts me every time he says goodbye, kissing me before he leaves me for three months. I could never ask him to stay. He needs music.

He needs music so he doesn't bleach his hair and sit on the couch in a comatose state, staring at the small place where paint has peeled off the wall. He needs music more than he needs me. He needs touring more than me, wanting his getaway. I can't do it. I love him too much to watch him go again.

"Lisle, everything okay?" Awsten asked me, looking back at me from his place on the couch. I cleared my throat.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." I said, smiling at him briefly. He shook his head and stood up, walking over to my place against the counter. I tried to move away from him, but he held me by my biceps.

"Lisle, look at me." He commanded, trying to meet my eyes. "Lisle." He said again, causing me to look at him.

"What?" I demanded, finally meeting his two different colored eyes.

"What is wrong?" He asked, letting his hands fall to the counter, trapping me between his arms.

"Nothing, Awsten." I lied, trying to push him away.

"Like I'd believe that. Now, seriously, tell me what's wrong." He said, standing strong and not allowing me to shove past him. I sighed and stopped falling back against the counter, my gaze trailing down to the floor.

"You don't need me." I told him, finally allowing him to know the answer to what was bothering me so badly. He sighed and wrapped his arms around me, moving closer to me so he could hold me tightly.

"That's so not true." He told me, hugging me so tightly that I could barely breath, let alone move. "I love you, Lisle." He whispered, burying his face in my neck.

"You can say it, but I have no point." I mentioned, gently pushing him back.

"No. No. You have purpose." He told me, forcing me to look at him. His hands cupped my cheeks gently. "No, you are what inspires me to write. You are what makes me happy. You are the person who keeps me wanting to live. You are the person who I'm so excited to come home to after tour." The tears had started from both of us. Awsten wiped away my tears, forgetting his own. "I love you. That is why you're the most important thing in my life." He told me, continuing to move the tears off my face.

"I love you, too." I told him, leaning my forehead on his. He sniffled before leaning in and kissing me hard. I kissed back, wrapping my arms around his neck. His arm snakes around my waist and pulled my body flush against his.

"I love you, so, so much." I mumbled into the kiss. He kissed me deeper. After what felt like an eternity, he pulled away slowly. I gulped in air, our faces still close together. "Never say you mean nothing to me. You are everything." I hugged him tightly.

"I love you, Awsten."

"I love you, Lisle."