Nights of Insomnia

Night 2

Date-
dat/
A romantic appointment or engangment.
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Red, white, blue is in the sky
Summer's in the air and
Baby, heaven's in your eyes
I'm your National Anthem
-Lana Del Rey, National Anthem
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It's funny how cities look more alive during the night. Maybe it's because it's just me with my messed up mind. Or maybe it's because you become aware. You hear every car, see every headlight, and it's never truly dark at night.

Thinking about this I slipped out of my sister's and my bed (that's honestly too small for us) and tiptoed to our door, which in this tiny apartment, was not that far. I opened the door and swiftly shut it behind me.

Time seemed to stop once I saw my father passed out on the couch. A beer bottle hung loosly from his ash-stained fingers. Overall it was a horrirific scene. I mentally gaged as I carefully avioded the empty bottles, glass and cigerette butts. I easily picked the beer bottle from my father's greasy hand and placed it on the table next to him. I didn't dare touch it for a second longer. I picked up one of the blankets from the sofa that (surprisingly) my father has not yet contaminated with his sadness and grief. I placed it on his lap but didn't spread it. The air smelled awful so I breathed through my mouth instead, which offered no relief. It tasted stale, overused, and full of ash, tears, and grief. It pointed to him.

Just looking at my father makes me want to leave. How does he expect me to take care of them two when I can't even take care of myself? The scars of my wrists are testements enough of my inability to pick myself up after mom's death.

Blinking the tears out of my eyes I quickly left the ill-seeming living room and into our compressed kitchen. I grabbed the door handle and opened it quickly. I held my breath as I carefully shit it behind me. I exhaled and inhaled the freshly clean air. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the apartment door.

Regaining control of my tear valve, I left. I got out of that stifling building as quick as I could without disturbing anyone. I nearly slammed the main door behind me in my haste to leave. But I wasn't ready for the attack on my eyes. Thousands of lights from the skyscrapers and cars created an image that would deceive the eye into thinking it was day. I moved my arm up on impulse to cover my hurt eyes. Blinking the surprise out of them, I ran down the sidewalk.

"Taxi!" I waved my arms and finally flagged one down.

"Where to?" The man asked as I climbed in. There was trash all over the placed and it smelled exactly like my apartment. When I saw the man's face I noticed the cigar hanging out of his greasy mouth. "Miss?" I was suddenly snapped into awarness.

"Sorry. Umm, Finger Park please." He nodded and tugged us into the traffic you could always find in the city.

"Why's a young girl like you coming out on a night like this?" He asked, not really interested in what I had to say so I just muttered,

"Are you saying tonight is any different from last night?" He didn't say anything, but his silence was answer enough. He wasn't. I placed my cheek against the cool glass and watched the buildings come and go, making it look like the earth is moving, and yet you stay rooted, cursed to watch it go by, and if you blink you miss something.

"Miss? That would be $15." The taxi driver told me. I got say, he may look horrible, but he has manners. I threw a $20 dollar bill in his general direction, while muttering a 'keep the change.' I was happy when I opened the car and shut it behindme firmly. The man didn't wait to make sure I was OK, he just zoomed off towards the city. Not that I could blame him.