The Forbidden Mate (The Mate Series: Novel 2)

TFM- Chapter 12: Curse, or Blessing

Chapter 12: Curse, Or Blessing

"While I recall all the words you spoke to me

Can't help but wish that I was there

Back where I'd love to be,"

-Avenged Sevenfold 'Dear god'

Mark-

I lay in bed thinking of nothing, but Isabel.

Wondering if she's happy, if she's safe, if she loves 'him'. I almost growl at the thought of another male touching her the way I have.

I muffle the half sob by rolling onto my stomach and burring my face into her pillow. The smell of her is all around me I cant tell if it's my blessing or my curse.

Smelling her... well, I can almost imagine her lying beside me, but then when i reach out to hold her... she isn't really there.

I lay wondering if I'd done the right thing. Telling her to mate 'him'. I wonder how much it will rip me apart when she does. I lay wondering about my future-

one that suddenly seems so dim and far away.

Most importantly, I lie here thinking about bout what might- could- have been. I picture Isa and me in the forrest, Far away from everyone, just the two of us.

These memories that I'll never have of her bombard me.

Isa shifting for me, me asking her daddy for her hand, Proposing to her, getting an apartment, Watching her walk down the isle, Starting our life together...

Her soft belly round with my pup...

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

I jump out of bed and pull open the door. My father is standing there.

''What do you want?" I growl.

"I've come to..."

"To what? I'd like to get some sleep."

"You won't find any. Sleep that is. It's nearly impossible to rest- trust me I know." He tried to smile. He cleared his throat, "I'm sorry." He mutters quickly,

looking down at his feet.

"No you aren't. You never have been, and you never will be." I took a deep breath, "You know when Mama died that day... I lost both my parents."

"Tristan I was all alone!"

"No!" I yelled then lowered my voice, "No, you weren't I was there. You had me. But I just wasn't enough." I whispered, feeling like I was a little boy all over

again, craving "pa's" Affection. Needing him to be proud of me. Wanting him to smile. "After she died, I was never enough. No matter what I did. No matter

how hard I trained."

"You'll understand... someday. I don't wish for you to ever experience it, but someday you'll feel how lost I do." His voice was tight, on the verge of breaking. "I

know I don't... deserve your forgiveness, and I'm not asking for it." He took another deep breath, trying to calm himself, I did the same. "That little girl, She's

special. She told me things that no one else had the balls to say. She-" he bit his lip to keep it from quivering, "She reminded me of your mother so much,

my heart ached- she sees through people so easily, She strong, sympathetic, determined, Courageous-"

"I know what she is..." I whispered.