Me and My Random Life~

why I wanna be a writerrr

1/16/18- 6:01 PM

HEYYYY soooo yeah Im here and I'm just gonna talk about why I wanna be a writer. 

First of all, I'm very shy. Or at least I was. I was like SOOO shy. I couldn't make friends because I was scared that they wouldn't like me. I isolated myself... sooo... my whole life, I've been scared of people not liking me. As I grew older, some people made fun of my roots (I'm adopted). I remember this one girl in 5th grade referring to me as "Twinkie" because... I was "yellow" on the outside but "white" on the inside. Which basically means that I appear Asian, but inside I'm "white" at heart. Which is actually kinda true, except the yellow part. That's just... wrong... 
But... I have white parents and I'm basically disconnected from all Chinese culture sooo... lol I dunno. I suppose she had a point but still. Can you not. BUT ANYWAY. Wow this rant is like so off topic... okay, so my whole life I've kinda been a shy little awkward girl. I was so scared that no one would like me that I just completely shut down and decided I would rather be a loner than have "fake friends". Sooo... bearing that in mind, a writer? A writer is usually very well known. People like you for what and how you write, not exactly your personality. And I like that. I suppose I just wanna be famous. But not really. I mean, I want to be well known, yes, but that's more or less the same thing. But the thing is? Like... take... J.K. Rowling, for example. YESSS She's AMAZING. But, of course, I haven't even MET her. So people are basically idolizing your work, not your persona. Haha, now that I'm looking back, it seems very cowardly. It's like... I'm hiding behind my work, lol... 

ANYWAYYY the second reason is... I guess I feel like I have a story to tell. I've been through a load of shit and so I need people to hear and listen. Ever since I was little, and I still do this today... communication has been hard for me. Verbally, at least. I dunno... I've never been a social person, lol. I can never really verbally express my feelings or wants or... basically anything. I remember when I was little, I would stay up writing notes to my parents because they were mad at me or something. And then later, they would come in my room and be like "Ariel, we forgive you, that note was so sweet" and I mean, yeah, i was like 6, so I thought they were just saying that. But no, this continued. I usually get into fights with my mom. We both have hella short tempers, so... haha, yeah, already that's not good. But nah, most of our fights result in both of us yelling, and lemme just say, I grew up yelling at people, so MY VOICE CARRIES. but anyyyway... yeah most of the time we would be screaming at each other and so I would get all flustered because I wouldn't know how to express myself and so I would just walk away and WRITE. BISH, U KNOW. I WROTE SOOOO FAST YOOOOO and BOOM we made up :) 

anywayyy yeah mah best friend texted so imma hit the road... i might continue this rant later ;P Love ya