Me and My Random Life~

my relationship with people

1/8/18- 1:12 PM

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy people. 

Sooooo MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FELLOW HOMOSAPIENS...

is trash.

Ha... soooooo... alright, I have like 10+ people that I consider my best friends. However... if you look at it... I only have like... 5.... that I talk to on a daily basis and like actually enjoy their company. 

But anywayyyyyy... people, right? They drive me insaneee.

Alright so... ok well, basically I prefer friends one on one. I don't really like a lot of people at once. It's kinda overwhelming. For like birthday parties and stuff... 3 other people is enough for me. Also, I actually spend lunch in a classroom with a bunch of other people. Most of the people in the classroom are my friends so it's a little overwhelming. I see friends over there, and over there, and ooo look, there are some over there. And you might ask, why, Ariel? Is it so overwhelming?

Well, let me tell you this. It's really hard because they disperse into groups. I have like 2 people over here and 3 people over there and 1 person over there reading and another one just questioning their existence. So it's like... where do I go? 

There are some people I'd rather spend more time with than others. Like this one girl who I only have one class with... I'd rather talk to her than a friend who I have 5/7 of my classes with. 

Also, sometimes I just feel out of place... like I don't belong. Does that make sense? Like... I'll see all my friends in different groups... and it's like... okay, well they all seem to be getting along just fine. And then I leave to go get water and walk around for a while. 

Also, my friends are like... drugs... ha, okay that's a little weird... but it's true. Lemme break it down for ya. Sooo basically, when I'm around my friends, I'm really happy and it's like YES MY FAVORITE HUMANSSSSSSSSSSS

But then when I'm alone... all these thoughts flood my mind like "what if they actually hate me" and stuff like that. So when I'm going to get that water? That's basically a dangerous time for me. Cuz I basically overthink everything. "Oh, crap, he glared at me like 10 minutes ago, does that mean that he's mad at me?" or "Oh, she ignored me when I said hi, does that mean she hates me?" and even "She didn't look at me when her crush talked to her, does that mean she doesn't like them anymore and she didn't tell me?" 

And it's really hard because after a while you just convince yourself that all these things are true. 

And it's 

p

 a 

   i 

    n

     f

     u

      l 

        ...

I remember, like months ago, I actually tried drowning myself in the water fountain, I was so upset. I can't even remember why, and for some reason I thought I could drown myself... 

yeah... that was a bad day for me. 

Anyywayayyyy... ha this is depressing me... ANYWAYYY hmmmm

I dunno what else to say...........?

blehhhhhhhhh

hmmm well bye... i guess?